This article is from Guest Writer: Discovering Knowledge, who can be seen here giving a safe (watered down but useful) version of the October man Sequence. He and I often give dating lectures (for men or for women) together. He is a hypnotist specializing in inner game, smoking cessation, weight loss, and approach anxiety.
What the hell is it and why do I need it?
Let me ask you this, what’s your biggest frustration in meeting the kind of women (or men if you are a woman) that you want in your life?
As a hypnotist, I have a deep level of knowledge of people’s fears, worries, desires, dreams and frustrations. One of the most often requested outcomes I get is “can you get rid of this fear I have?”
Inner game comes down to your thoughts, beliefs and energy when you are out looking for the kind of person you want to get to know, date or even beyond that.
Here is a “normal” process for fear of approaching:
- you see attractive person
- you start to think about talking to them
- you come up all the reasons why they wont want to talk to you
- you walk away disgusted that they are so rude (without you actually even trying)
- you go tell all of your friends how hard it is to meet new, fun people.
From an inner game point of view, this poor person simply had no chance because even before the object of their attraction showed up (and disappeared), they had given up!
Recently, one of the guys I worked with sent me the following text:
client x: we need to get together again
me: why? what’s up?
client x: (I) was supposed to continue with hypnosis but I f_ _ _ _ it up
This text came after another painful rejection!
I am guessing that you are reading this because you need help with your skill or at least you want to discover what is working for other people (yes, women have fear of approaching as well, but for different reasons).
Here are 3 of the 5 steps that I have my clients go and do. Don’t be like the usual keyboard jockeys that simply read it and decide why this wont work and go the next “secret” to getting the person you want! Go do the work.
step 1: Create a list of your fun and appealing attributes.
this list will contain at least 10 of them and ideally you will ask friends for help on this.
write this list on a business card (3×5 is ok as well)
review the card once a day and keep it with you
ex: do your friends tell you that you are funny? kind? elegant? driven?
step 2: On the 3rd day of reviewing your list of attributes ask yourself, if there is one new attribute that I could have, what would it be?
step 3: find an exemplar who easily and naturally exudes that attribute and learn all you can about that person.
If you want to have more charisma, find a person who simply is charismatic. This can be person you know or a public person. If you can a conversation with that person, do it. If not, short of becoming a stalker, find out all you can about this person and let this knowledge drive you to action.