I recently watched Just Friends (a movie about a super LJBF’d fat kid who blows out with his hot best friend and leaves town, loses weight, and gets good w/girls before returning) on DVD and while most of it sucked, it got me thinking a bit about the LJBF (Let’s Just Be Friends) thing. One thing Ryan Reynold’s character got wrong even after losing the weight and being better with women is that you should kiss the girl at the end of the date. You should kiss her sooner if possible, because there is more pressure at the end of the date.
I had a date a couple of months ago w/ a shy girl where I got up to go to the restroom and kissed her before walking away because it was getting too close to the end of the date and there really hadn’t been any other opportunities due to the location and situation. So, I said I was going to the rest room, stopped, grabbed her hair, kissed her relatively quickly and went to the john. It made it easier to kiss her again at the end of the date. And, as skittish as she was (in general), she knew it was going to be just a quick kiss. Not my normal MO, but I knew she needed the extra comfort, and it worked.
Back to the movie. A large part of why he had a chance w Amy Smart‘s character was that he had lost weight, and a small part of it may have been the hottie he showed up with it, but a very large part chunk of his success was that after being super friend zoned, he cut ties, and then showed up years later. It was like he was a new person (physically and otherwise) to a large extent. It’s funny that one of the best way to get over “oneitis” (major crush that stops you form being successful with any women including the crush) is to make a “clean break” but that it also can give the person a chance to try again later…rather than keeping the LJBF relationship alive and waiting for a chance that just may not be possible when approached that way. I’m not saying you have to wait ten years though.
People sometimes ask me how to LJBF a girl. It’s simple…treat her like a friend. Talk about dates you are going on, offer to set her up with your friends, etc. She may also make a good pivot (girl that help you with other girls).
Pivots are great, and people have been asking me how to recruit them. You can certainly meet and LJBF new girls, but your current female friends should want to help you met women as well – they should want you to be happy. Many of my female friends have made great (female) friends by pivoting for me. It’s like a chain of “X helped me meet Y, and Y helped with Z.”