Posts Tagged ‘Daygame’

Is There a NEW Way to Open in Daygame?

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2015

This article is in response to this article: Daygame 101: A New Way to Open.

I wouldn’t say there is anything “new” here but it’s still worth a read. He is saying things that I’ve been saying and teaching forever, but also is a bit off on a few things. Yes, an approach should not feel like an approach to a woman, it should feel like it just happened (and look to people viewing the conversation like you already knew each other). Then they may if things go well -hello cognitive dissonance- women will feel that it was fate and if things go badly, they won’t.

As far as looking away and back. He should specify whether the eyes went sideways or down because there is a difference. Also, sometimes women look back after you or body scan when they think you aren’t looking looking so keep en eye out (pun intended).

It’s a shame he doesn’t give better examples for Indirect openers because the ones he gives (Excuse me…, and Where is the mall?) aren’t good, the former because it puts you in the frame of interrupting them, and the latter because it is close ended and obviously fake since your phone (GPS) can get you to the mall.

Direct approaches seems to contradict his desire not to startle women, so I’m curious as to whether the author even uses it or when/why.

As for as whether to choose direct and indirect approaches, it’s not as much about your style/vibe as it is how the woman responds to you, so you can use both types of approaches, at the correct times. But, when I say indirect, I mean indirect playful (like Wayne Elise talked about in the day) including possible teasing or banter. I write about direct vs. indirect approach styles here.

-Cuisine

When and how to Open Direct (Day or Night Game)!

Sunday, December 7th, 2014

directI talked about approaching in my post about the Greenpeace Opener, including:

Don’t open with “excuse me” or “I know this is random but… .”

I often start with “Hey…” but you don’t always need to tack something in front of the opener. People use “I know this is random” with direct openers, but it minimizes the directness of the approach. So, either go direct or don’t, but don’t minimize a  direct approach. A direct approach SHOULD be direct by design. As far as “excuse me,” it puts you in the frame of having interrupted her like Greenpeace or other people asking for money…which often makes people become defensive. I know a people who open with “oh my god” and then the opener, and it’s fine.

What is a direct opener? A direct opener shows (sexual) interest in her from the beginning.

Examples:

1) I saw you and I had to meet you.

2) You are f-ing Adorable!

3) You are the cutest/coolest woman here!

4) I’d kick myself if I didn’t come over and meet you.

Advantages:

1) You are clear in your intentions.

2) Extremely confident opener.

3) Saves time since you don’t waste time on girls that would have been no’s anyway.

4) You get occasional VERY strong positive responses.

Disadvantages:

1) Your blow out (hell no) rate is much higher than with an indirect playful opener.

2) You blow out with some women you could have done well with if  an indirect playful opener was used.

What do I mean by playful indirect? Open with humor, teasing or banter.

So, when should you use direct openers? If you are getting IOIs (Indications Of Interest, which in this case are body language interest/flirting signals), she is already attracted to you, so open direct. Otherwise, open indirect playful. This gives you a better chance with girls who already like you (with direct) and a better chance with girls who might need some attraction triggers (like humor) to decide. Some good body language books for IOIs are Superflirt and Superdate by Tracey Cox.

In contrast, here are some indirect playful opener examples:

Crayola Kid (see the above link)

Some of the Pickup 101 Banter Deck cards are ok as openers. “Hey my eyes are up here” (if she looks at your pendant or shirt) is my favorite PU101 banter line.

I make ridiculous/funny accusations. Girls with laptops just outbid me on Ebay on fuzzy bunny slippers. Girls with cell phones are playing Angry Birds and “This is an Angry Birds free zone…there was an incident 2 months ago and it was ugly, but you can play Candy Crush.”

I ask for restaurants or menu items (or Starbucks drinks) that “don’t suck.” Or I ask for their 2nd favorite (whatever) and bust them on it…saying that was their favorite, but I want her 2nd favorite. She then qualified herself to me.

In a bar, I tell women who are trying to pass me that “I charge $1 each way, but maybe I’ll give you a round trip discount.” But, if she is drink or has to go to the bathroom badly…she may blow you out.

-Cuisine

A Metro Approach 3 Years Ago (How I Met My Girlfriend)

Tuesday, May 13th, 2014

Love-TrainI’ve been dating my G/F for over three years, and people often ask how we met. If they are in the game, they ask how the approach went. So here it is:

10am on a Sunday morning I was on my way to the Dupont Farmer’s Market. A girl sat across from me (in front of me)  in the train and started reading a magazine (TVFN). I opened by asking her if the magazine was any good or just an advertisement for Bobby Flay. I would have opened the set regardless, but it was nice to have a prop, especially one related to my identity (food).

I had to do even more talking and drawing the woman out than usual, and screening tools (What do you look for in a man?) did not work (she told me it was cheating), but that has to do with the girl in particular. A lot of game that works for me did not work with her (like with Style’s G/F in the book, The Game) but I recognized that there is a difference between disinterest and “not yet interested” (there were no physical IOIs since she is shy)…and kept going. Also, since I was seated across from her…there was no kino in the train itself.”

We were going to different farmers markets, so I got her to come with me to mine. I even knew one of the women selling us vegetables. I then bounced her to lunch…to a place that a (female) publicist had been trying to get me to try. I have a ethnic/cultural link to the restaurant.

In total, I was with her 2.5 hours on this initial meeting. I got her out the following Sunday (a week later).

-Cuisine

The DC Area is Great for Guys!

Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

This article is circulating about why DC sucks for guys. I do think it’s funny that he thinks there are too many Asian women here since many men are very into Asian women. He is probably just picking the wrong venues since I’ve only ever been to one venue that was overwhelmingly Asian (Lotus). Most of the time, when people say there aren’t enough attractive women around to approach, there is some “approach anxiety” involved (since they aren’t approaching the ones who are available and attractive). Also, if you don’t find enough women somewhere, try other venues.

Rather than tackle all the “self-limiting beliefs” (AKA If you believe it is so, it is for you) listed in the above article, below is my list of a few reasons why the DC area is great for guys.

1) The DC area has the highest female to male ratio in the United States. This includes Maryland (Bethesda and Rockville), DC, and Northern VA.

2) Daygame is great here. You can do street approaches in areas like Dupont Circle, Georgetown, Clarendon, which are all areas full of approachable young women. “Indirect playful” approaches work well here. You will probably receive less interference from other men in daygame than you would in a bar or night club, especially since many women go about their business during the day alone (or in small groups of women).  Street fairs are good venues for meeting women as well.

3) There are a ton of college students and college campuses here. Many people go to areas near the GW and Georgetown campuses to approach young (college age) women because of this. Cafes near universities tend to be hangouts for students as well.

4)This is a huge retail/shopping area. There are a ton of shopping areas in this area, and you can do well with both shoppers and store employees. Eastern Market and Pentagon City Mall combine street game with store, restaurant, and cafe approaches because as you bounce women around with you to different venues (stores, Eastern Market stands, cafes, etc.), they generally get more comfortable with you. And, stores contain props that you can use to start conversations.

5) This is a great city for socializing and networking. There are many social groups here including sports groups (WAKA and NAKID kickball, etc.) and meetup.com groups. There are companies such as Professionals in the City and Things To Do that plan singles events including mixers and speeddating events. And, many organizations host networking, charity, or political events. I’ve been to many events were more women than men. A good event list is Greg’s List DC.

6) There are enough venues in this area that you can definitely find a neighborhood with a few good bars to bounce between when you are approaching women. There are also many bars, restaurants, and cafes to bounce women to.

7) Internet dating is popular here on both free and pay sites. I used to set up 3 internet dates a day for a while, and could have scheduled more.

8) Ethnic/cultural  diversity is huge here (and yes, we have white girls). The DC area has an incredible selection of embassies here, many of which (such as France) plan various types of events. You can meet women from various countries at these events since people often attend the events of other embassies. There are also many venues to salsa dance or learn salsa dancing if you are into Latina women. You can also meet women from various countries at restaurants that feature the food of their countries (such as Russian women dining or working at Mari Vanna). Research the restaurants, dance clubs and events women of different countries attend.

9) There is a large enough PUA community here that you can find wings, without the community being (currently) large enough to be tripping over each other. That may change if they ever make a third season of the TV show, the Pickup Artist. 🙂

-Cuisine

Now, That Was an Interesting Demo!

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

Man eater? Not this time! My client now knows better what to look out for.

One of my clients always seems to be in the right place to see interesting demos. He was awed last weekend by how I handles a store manager (unsuccessfully, but also unintentionally, since he really did want to talk to me) AMOGing me with a very hot hired gun but last night was something completely different and just as amazing.

I was in a coffee shop with a client last night, working on fine tuning his answers to personality questions and essay questions on internet profiles. The demo girl was very into me and her body language became more and more interested, and yes, she qualified herself more and more. I also repeatedly called out what she was going to do before she did it. I could have easily gotten her # of bounced her somewhere (if I liked deceptive women).

This girl became the text book demo of the kind of girl my client should watch out for…he would absolutely have went for this girl if I had not opened her…and he would have fallen for all her tricks. She works men to get them to do things for her or buy her things (even if it sometimes fulfills their needs as well)…and in the case of married men…she gives them what they need emotionally, pushes them to stay with their wives, and doesn’t actually sleep with them. With unmarried men, she also gets whatever she wants and maybe sleeps with them, depending on how many men are in her rotation. She was a textbook “Ideal Lover” from Art of Seduction, but her game is all smoke and mirrors (deception). She is used to men not being able to read her since she smiles, doesn’t really truly share of herself (she makes up great stories), and tells them what they want to hear. She just uses her seduction type to manipulate people, while Ideal Lover can also be used in a better way (sensing peoples needs and filling them by using genuine qualities or behaviors you possess).

So, I pointed out her tactics, and her inner game issues so that he could see them. This included pointing out her deceptive body language (shoulder shrugs, reverse head nodding, conflicting facial sub communications of emotion, etc.). She truly believes that everyone is deceptive so its her reality. She is in a pattern and even though she eventually wants marriage/kids, in order to achieve that goal, she will have to start being more genuine and stop gaming unavailable/attached men. She has a fear of not being noticed by people (and is insecure), leading her to game men even harder to validate herself.

The funny thing here, is that while I could read her (and the other men she has met can’t), she could not read me as a person, probably because she thought she thought she was doing better than she was, and also assumes all men are both deceptive and fall for her tricks. She could read some of my tactics really well, but not my motives. She said I worked the room, but could not understand that sometimes I was just being social. And at the point where she realized her errors (such as being very shady with me, when I prefer “genuine” people, even as friends), it was too late for her to change her tactics.

This set was at least an hour long (we were still working on his profile) on and off, and near the end my client tried to DHV me, and suggested I give her my business card (I declined), which is where she realized she wasn’t doing as well as she thought (I knew what I was doing). She did keep trying to get me but I eventually stopped her, but the client had seen what he needed to see, and will be more aware of girls who are gold diggers/users or deceptive. I don’t even want to be friends with girls like this (who might take advantage of my friends), so did not exchange info.

-Cuisine

PUA Q&A

Monday, April 18th, 2011

We’ve gotten some great questions lately.  Here are a few:

What are some common misconceptions newbies make about day and night game?

Day: thinking you are interrupting them.  Using the “Excuse me” (Greenpeace) opener (since it puts them in the frame that they are more important than you and you are interrupting them); you want to approach them more like a friend would than a Greenpeace employee. Not working hired guns (store employees). Getting stuck on the opener and losing control of the conversation.

Night:  They think large sets or mixed sets are more difficult than they are.  Not working hired guns for social proof and/or as targets.

Are most of your clients lawyers?

That’s a DC Question.  It varies, but if you are looking for trends: I do get a lot of lawyers, doctors, students, and doctors as clients as you’d expect.  I also get a lot of military clients, including officers.

Do you do style consultations?

Yes, sometimes combined with daygame sessions.

What advice do you have for daygame newbies?

Practice! Get good wings who you get along well with. Get coaching so that you correct and/or don’t develop bad habits and jumpstart your game.

-Cuisine


So, where are you from?

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

It is funny, because this may seem like an AFC question (like “What do you do?”) when asked early on but I’m in a very transient city, where people are from everywhere and it gives me (with my food-based identity) an easy jumping point to talking about food.

Yesterday, I picked up a HB8.5 on the bus and (bounced to) metro. She just moved here from S. Cali. Easy jumping point to me telling stories about chili peppers, and to busting her…on CA people thinking Mex food sucks here. Easy transition to seeding and letter settign up a taco date. I generally don’t setup food as a first date, but this is really inexpensive and turns out the same price as meeting for drinks at a HH. And, it’s nearby.

Free Daygame Talk

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

I’m having a free daygame talk in DC on a weekday evening in a couple of weeks. Email me for info and to RSVP at cuisine@daygamer.net.

-Cuisine

Social Proof Revisited

Saturday, April 24th, 2010

I have talked about social proof before – here, and here (hired guns).  Let’s talk about social proof some more.  In talking to hired guns, my wings, and random people, I have noticed that social proof (and showing a good sense of humor) often causes HBs to open me.  I was joking (in my limited Spanish) with the girl making my sandwich at a large Italian deli, and the HB8.5 (tall blond) waiting on line next to me laughed at my what I was saying.  This HB understood some Spanish. I took her laughing with us as an approach invitation (AI) and she responded with IOIs when I actually opened her.  I’ve also had women open me in this situation; I say something funny to someone else and they use it as an excuse to open me or AI me.  Vibe with everyone around you…it’s fun and it is social proof.

7 Daygame tips from Love Systems

Monday, April 12th, 2010

Ok, I’ll admit that these are better than I’d have thought.  I’m commenting above and their tips are below.

That said, #1…eh.  True that you probably aren’t going for same day pulls.  Time frame wise, their is no set time frame. Sometimes day game # closes are 2 minutes. Sometimes you bounce them and are on a 2 hour instadate.  I’ve had several 7 hour daygame instadates.  It’s definitely easier to just # close and not instadate/bounce her or go for kiss closes, but feel it out…because all kinds of things are possible if you are flexible and you pay attention to their responses.  Also, sometimes you can get the # and then get them out again that night (Adept does that).

2. Not sure they are teaching this right. Yes, you can kino in daygame, and social touches sounds great, but I’m not sure that most guys know what that means. I like to show clients HOW you escalate kino in daygame, because you can escalate.  It’s also environment based….tone it down a LOT on metros (trains) and platforms.

3. They push direct too much.  I generally open with funny indirect and banter, so I open on an attraction trigger.  Direct is fine, but not as an “every approach” kind of thing, unless your outer game is really good.  a combination of types of openers is good too.

4.  Agreed, but you can come up with kino routines for daygame.  Try the Ring Routine (It’s on the internet, I’m sure.) And, practice social kino and some kino escalating.

5 . Hmmmmm.

6.  Smiling is important in day and night game.

7. True.

-Cuisine

————–

Love systems 7 tips:

Seven Day Game Tips You Can Use Right Now

    1. Usually people have stuff to do during the day – unlike at a bar, where she can spend hours with you. Good Day Game approaches usually lead to phone numbers + dates as opposed to going straight to the bedroom.

    2. Forget almost everything you know about touching (“kino”) and the Phyysical Progression Model. Being “touchy” and escalating is GREAT at a bar or club. During the day, in public, in bright light, it can seem creepy. Stop at “social touch” and save the rest for your date.

    3. Try “going direct.” She knows you’re hitting on her anyway – people don’t approach random strangers during the day unless they want something – so why not get the credit for having confidence?

    4. High-energy routines are often out of place during the day. They’re also unnecessary. At a cafe, you’re not competing with a million flashing lights, club music, and millions of other guys. So, tone everything down a few notches.

    5. Most of the time, you’re not going to have a wingman or alcohol in Day Game to help “push” you to approach. If you have “Approach Anxiety,” reward yourself for every time you approach without hesitating. This is how you build habits and “muscle memory.”

    6. Smile – it’s even more important in the daytime. At a club, the guy who doesn’t smile and approaches her is nervous. On a street corner, the guy who doesn’t smile and approaches makes HER nervous.

    7. Having good phone and text game is CRUCIAL if you want to be good at Day Game. Since even the best Day Game approaches often result in a phone number + date (since people have real time constraints during the day), you need to be good at converting phone numbers into dates.