Discovering Knowledge on Listening and Taking Action

Editor’s note: Here is an article a long time friend and coaching partner of mine (Discovering Knowledge) has written for Daygamer.net.

-C

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As a hypnotist and dating coach, I have noticed a number of mistakes that men make when it comes to approaching, talking to and engaging women that they either want to date or seek a more permanent relationship with.

As an example, if you play poker, you know that much of the game is based on your starting cards, but they are not the only or even the most important part of the game.  You have to be aware of your opponent and be able to read the board and the opponent, and delete any extra information that is not of value to you.  At the same time, you want to use all of these things against your opponent.

Imagine the following: you are watching a poker game, the dealer hands out the cards and everyone but 2 players are out.  The dealer puts out the first 3 cards, the first player to act throws out a huge bet, and instantly the 2nd player announces a “raise,” which often means that the player raising feels he has a very strong hand.  The raise is made and the game continues.

The next card shows up, the same 2 players are still in and the first player again throws out a bigger bet than before and instantly, the 2nd player raises again.  At this point, the amount of the pot is very healthy and the final card show up.  The first player to act is down to his last 8,000 chips and throws out 3,000 (which is a respectable bet at this point) and again, the other player raises his bet to put the first player “all in” and possibly ending his tournament.

You can imagine the tension that the first player is under; he has been pushed from the flop, all the way to the final card.  He has a powerful/big hand, but now he is uncertain and the 2nd player acts on that. The 2nd players talks a big game and acts with confidence and certainty.

The first player throws out his hand in disgust and the hand, when paired with the board, was 3 queens and 2 fours.  In poker, this is called a full house and very few hands can beat it.

MEN, pay attention to this.  This is literally what you do when you are trying to get a woman to talk to you, give you her number, go out with you, giveyou a kiss and possible more.  You are behaving like the first player.  You have a very strong hand, but then you talk yourself out of it.  You start to wonder about her, why is she interested in you?   What if you saw a prettier woman?  What if…

Here is some advice that has worked with hundreds of men.  Once you focus on the value that you have and the needs of women, you have become the 2nd player in our example and you are no longer concerned about what the “dealer,” “the universe” and “life” throws your way.  You understand that you take your skills and use them.  Will you always win?  No.  Will you win more often than you are winning now?  Yes!

First:  Expect to win!  Here is a secret that few men act on.

Women who want men, like men.

If you were not aware of this fact, go back and reread it.  You have a huge advantage in that women like you, not just as the person that you are, but simply because you are a man and they crave that male energy.  I don’t mean this “like” the way men are sexually focused on women.  Women really want to know you, get what you are about, why you act this way or how you feel about this or that.  This is part of why women drive men crazy with wanting to talk.  They need to get more of what they like, sound familiar?

Second:  Have something to share from your life.

I know that you have access to books and vids that are full of “openers” and “negs” and much more.  When you memorize lines and don’t add your personal energy to them, they come across as lines.  Cuisine and I have been teaching men how to use “themes” of attraction to have the stories of your life ready to share with the women you are interested in.

I use hypnotic language patterns.  These are secret patterns that have been used/banned in some areas because of how powerful they can be when used correctly.  Bill Clinton, Barak Obama and many politicians use these types of patterns in their speeches because they work and they control the masses.  You too, can now learn and use these types of patterns to create the intimacy, connection and hopefully a long lasting romance.  Please don’t expect you to have this information available to you, unless you take one my workshops, classes or become a private client.

Third:

Listen, listen, listen.  It’s not what you say that will get you the date, it’s how well you listen to her.  One of the most annoying characteristics of humans is the ability to hear a person’s name and instantly forget it.  How do you feel when you tell someone your name and they start calling you “bud” or “friend” or some other word that says, “I forgot your name and don’t care enough to ask you to repeat it”?  When she tells you details about her life and you don’t hear them or you simply forget them, she will feel most likely feel that you are just trying to manipulate her or worse.

Remember this the next time you are talking to a woman, listen.  She might just go out with you simply because you listened.  By the way, listening is done with your ears, your eyes and your body.  Pay attention to any hints or suggestions your intuition throws your way.  If you feel the moment to hold her hand is there, go for it.  If you want to ask for her number, do it.

To finish the poker story, the 2nd player never showed his hand but announced that he had a “king high” which if it was accurate, was a loosing hand all the way from the start.  When you start the conversation, you already have a strong hand.  It is up to you to either close the deal or allow the fear of the “what ifs” to keep you from the happiness and the woman you deserve.

The only way you can take a random conversation from a meeting to a relationship is to listen and take action!  Your most powerful asset as a man is your ability to be competitive and go for what you want.  Most women crave that in the man they will eventually give themselves to.

You can reach me at discoveringknowledge@yahoo.com with any questions or to clarify any of the information above.

Oscar (AKA Discovering Knowledge)
Hypnotist and Dating Coach

A Metro Approach 3 Years Ago (How I Met My Girlfriend)

Love-TrainI’ve been dating my G/F for over three years, and people often ask how we met. If they are in the game, they ask how the approach went. So here it is:

10am on a Sunday morning I was on my way to the Dupont Farmer’s Market. A girl sat across from me (in front of me)  in the train and started reading a magazine (TVFN). I opened by asking her if the magazine was any good or just an advertisement for Bobby Flay. I would have opened the set regardless, but it was nice to have a prop, especially one related to my identity (food).

I had to do even more talking and drawing the woman out than usual, and screening tools (What do you look for in a man?) did not work (she told me it was cheating), but that has to do with the girl in particular. A lot of game that works for me did not work with her (like with Style’s G/F in the book, The Game) but I recognized that there is a difference between disinterest and “not yet interested” (there were no physical IOIs since she is shy)…and kept going. Also, since I was seated across from her…there was no kino in the train itself.”

We were going to different farmers markets, so I got her to come with me to mine. I even knew one of the women selling us vegetables. I then bounced her to lunch…to a place that a (female) publicist had been trying to get me to try. I have a ethnic/cultural link to the restaurant.

In total, I was with her 2.5 hours on this initial meeting. I got her out the following Sunday (a week later).

-Cuisine

How NOT To Pick up a Girl at Whole Foods!

thrillest whole foodsHow to be creepy at Whole Foods by Thrillest. 🙂

The DC Area is Great for Guys!

This article is circulating about why DC sucks for guys. I do think it’s funny that he thinks there are too many Asian women here since many men are very into Asian women. He is probably just picking the wrong venues since I’ve only ever been to one venue that was overwhelmingly Asian (Lotus). Most of the time, when people say there aren’t enough attractive women around to approach, there is some “approach anxiety” involved (since they aren’t approaching the ones who are available and attractive). Also, if you don’t find enough women somewhere, try other venues.

Rather than tackle all the “self-limiting beliefs” (AKA If you believe it is so, it is for you) listed in the above article, below is my list of a few reasons why the DC area is great for guys.

1) The DC area has the highest female to male ratio in the United States. This includes Maryland (Bethesda and Rockville), DC, and Northern VA.

2) Daygame is great here. You can do street approaches in areas like Dupont Circle, Georgetown, Clarendon, which are all areas full of approachable young women. “Indirect playful” approaches work well here. You will probably receive less interference from other men in daygame than you would in a bar or night club, especially since many women go about their business during the day alone (or in small groups of women).  Street fairs are good venues for meeting women as well.

3) There are a ton of college students and college campuses here. Many people go to areas near the GW and Georgetown campuses to approach young (college age) women because of this. Cafes near universities tend to be hangouts for students as well.

4)This is a huge retail/shopping area. There are a ton of shopping areas in this area, and you can do well with both shoppers and store employees. Eastern Market and Pentagon City Mall combine street game with store, restaurant, and cafe approaches because as you bounce women around with you to different venues (stores, Eastern Market stands, cafes, etc.), they generally get more comfortable with you. And, stores contain props that you can use to start conversations.

5) This is a great city for socializing and networking. There are many social groups here including sports groups (WAKA and NAKID kickball, etc.) and meetup.com groups. There are companies such as Professionals in the City and Things To Do that plan singles events including mixers and speeddating events. And, many organizations host networking, charity, or political events. I’ve been to many events were more women than men. A good event list is Greg’s List DC.

6) There are enough venues in this area that you can definitely find a neighborhood with a few good bars to bounce between when you are approaching women. There are also many bars, restaurants, and cafes to bounce women to.

7) Internet dating is popular here on both free and pay sites. I used to set up 3 internet dates a day for a while, and could have scheduled more.

8) Ethnic/cultural  diversity is huge here (and yes, we have white girls). The DC area has an incredible selection of embassies here, many of which (such as France) plan various types of events. You can meet women from various countries at these events since people often attend the events of other embassies. There are also many venues to salsa dance or learn salsa dancing if you are into Latina women. You can also meet women from various countries at restaurants that feature the food of their countries (such as Russian women dining or working at Mari Vanna). Research the restaurants, dance clubs and events women of different countries attend.

9) There is a large enough PUA community here that you can find wings, without the community being (currently) large enough to be tripping over each other. That may change if they ever make a third season of the TV show, the Pickup Artist. 🙂

-Cuisine

How to Pick the Perfect Valentine’s Day Date Spot!

Wist sent us this article on how to pick the perfect Valentine’s Day date spot in  for your wife, hubby, sweetheart, or new flame.

Based on an analysis of thousands of restaurant and bar recommendations processed by Wist (www.getwist.com) — a fun new app that gives you personalized food and drink recommendations for any occasion — dating venue expert and Wist CEO Aigerim Shorman has come up with five action steps you can take to find the perfect Valentine’s Day venue:

STEP 1:  SEARCH WITHIN A GENRE
Does your honey love to visit fancy places, or prefer more laid back spots? It’s too overwhelming to search for both so pick one type and stick to it.

STEP 2:  GIVE THE NIGHT A THEME
Instead of unrelated venues and gifts, give the night a theme (like “Hot Latin Salsa” or “Paris in ).  Coordinate restaurants, bars, activities, and gifts around this theme.

STEP 3:  GET SENTIMENTAL
If you’ve shared a long history together, re-create past memorable moments with a new spin — or if you’re new lovebirds, prepare a thoughtful and sweet reason WHY you picked your chosen place.

STEP 4:  CHECK IN TO CHECK OUT THE DETAILS
Don’t just show up at a restaurant or bar without specific food or drink recommendations.  Check out online and mobile reviews first to get specific suggestions of what to order for the best experience.

STEP 5: HAVE A PLAN B
Just in case things don’t work out as you had in mind at your top choice, have a couple of secondary locations in mind if you need a quick change of plans.

Pros In The City is Offering Daygamer.net Readers a Discount on Several Events!

Pros event_image_12201_5456The promo code for this is “foodie” which will take $10 off the price of each of the three events listed below. The promo code is only good for these three events and for tickets purchased in advance (it can’t be used for purchase at the door). The below ticket prices are subject to change and will increase as we get closer in time to the events.

Champagne, Cheese, Chocolate, Music, Dancing and More: Pre-New Year’s Eve Mixer and Tasting: Saturday, December 28, 2013 from 7 pm – 12 am at  the Embassy Suites in Old Town Alexandria. This event includes an optional 45 minute speeddating event. $65
 
Washington DC New Year’s Eve Passport to the World Gala: An International Red Carpet Affair – 9:00 p.m. Entry Time: Tuesday, December 31, 2013 from 9 pm – 2 am at the Capital Hilton in DC. $139
 
Washington DC New Year’s Eve Passport to the World Gala: An International Red Carpet Affair – 10:30 p.m. Entry Time : Tuesday, December 31, 2013 from 10:30 pm – 2 am at the Capital Hilton in DC. $99
 
-Cuisine

Adam & Eve Shares Statistics on Male and Female Sexuality

Adam & Eve has come up with infographics with interesting facts about male and female sexuality. I wonder if respondents are likely to be honest to an adult entertainment company about their sexuality. It’s plausible.

-Cuisine

The Friend Zone

friend zoneI am seeing a lot of email subjects/titles about “getting out of the friend zone” when really you want to avoid getting in the zone in the first place. You want to work on your game so that you are not the type of guy who gets routinely friend zoned. If you are not displaying the characteristics women find attractive in men and/or are not showing clear intention (and sexualizing), you are likely to get friend zoned. Without clear intention, they may think you are not interested or even gay. I’m considering writing about this in more depth.

I wrote an article about friend zoning women here: http://www.daygamer.net/2012/09/23/how-to-put-a-woman-in-the-friendzone-lets-just-be-friends/.

P.S., I’ve been so busy coaching and with other projects that I haven’t been updating this webpage regularly. In the last week, I have had a number of requests for more content and for coaching information, so thanks for the reminder guys. I’ll see what I can do about writing again soon. And, keep your comments and questions coming.

-Cuisine

I’ll be Coaching at the Global Pickup Conference in DC May 17-19!

Check out the DC GPC! I’ll be coaching daygame at the conference! Mehow, John Keegan, Speer, and Brad P are some of the speakers this year!

These May dates are a reschedule from March–the GPC webpage needs to be updated with the new dates.

-Cuisine

 

5 Tips to Make It Easier For Men To Date You

For the ladies, here are “5 tips to make it easier to date” from Harlan Cohen, a nationally syndicated advice columnist. Now he’s written the next “He’s Just NNakedDatingBannerNing3ot That Into You.”  Harlan’s helping millions of people say what they think and do what they feel so they can find the love of their lives. His new book Getting Naked: Five Steps to Finding The Love of Your Life (While Fully Clothed and Totally Sober) tackles how taking risks can positively impact your dating life.

 

1. Put yourself in rooms and places where men can easily find you (online and offline). 

2. Say what you think and do what you feel  (but keep it clean).

3. Make eye contact and let a man catch you (but try not to stare, that can be creepy.

4. Ask friends, family, and coworkers to set you up with specific men who interest you.

5. Say “Hi,” ask  questions, and suggest getting together in the future (but let him ask you on a date).

They can be found on Harlan’s blog as well, http://ning.it/VM6xMe.