-Cuisine

Pic courtesy of DivineCaroline.dot com

Here is a field report by our Assitant Coach, Absolute. Yes insta-dates are a great way to build get a girl comfortable with you (and complying/following you) early on. You can even bouce girls between venues on an actual date for a similar effect…something that works well for internet dates or beginning dates.

-Cuisine

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If you have the time to go on an instant date you should definitely push for it. It’s a great way to advance things faster and build a solid connection. The more time a girl invests in you (especially on a busy weekday), the more likely she is to see you again.

I had an interesting experience today taking a girl for a quick coffee after about a 5 min. conversation. My day is usually pretty busy andfilled up with activities, so in the short hour I have for sarging, I usually choose to quickly get the digits and set up dates later. Today, however, I got the opportunity to take a girl on an instant date and want to share my experience and talk about the benefits of instant dates.

I was walking out of a store when I saw a cute Hispanic girl on my left, about 15 ft. away, coming my way. I looked at her, she looked back, and immediately gave me IOIs by tossing her hair and not breaking eye contact (signs Cuisine made me extra aware of which I now detect instantly). The strong IOIs simply took the “cold” out of the cold approach, and I knew she’d be receptive to me. As the distance between us was shortening and she keptplaying with her hair, I smiled and created a situational opener about her hair.

While still talking, I stopped, then she followed, turned her body all the way towards me and I started running attraction on her, teasing and bantering. She was receptive, but as I was pumping her state up, she kept (consciously or subconsciously) knocking herself out of state, so I knew I should keep persisting until she relaxes.

Couple of minutes into the conversation I decided to setup a date right there and then for another day, so I suggested a day and time. I could see she was interested, but she was reluctant to give me an answer and pushed away; she needed more game for a date. At this point I could’vejust taken the number and get going saying we could schedule the date later onthe phone, which would have been a mistake. Despite her possible objections to giving out her number, I would’ve probably ended up with it, but that would’ve only complicated my job as I had to build the connection and set up the date over the phone. The best thing is to build connection as soon as possible, in person. She will beless likely to flake later. I felt she wanted to keep flirting, so I decided to see how far I can push this thing.

I needed a change of tactics, so I asked if she was going this way (I knew she was), and offered to walk together till I get to the store I was going to (at this point I am still not thinking about an instant date). I told her to get on my right side and with a cheeky smile on my face, I had her lonk arms with me. After we walked like that for a while, she pulled away again, giving me another standard shit test saying something like – “I don’t know you,I just met you”, to which I just told her that it’s her lucky day, but shes hould keep calm cause we are in public and I don’t want her to embarrass me.

We got in front of the coffee shop and after talking foranother 2-3 minutes, her phone rang, she took it out, looked at it and I used the opportunity to take out mine, telling her while she got her phone out we should exchange info. Here she gave me the next shit test, saying she usually doesn’t give her phone number to strangers. After going back and forth for aminute, I told her it’d be fine and we can text (works 9/10 times – - thanks Cuisine), and she finally gave me her number.

At this point, we are about to part when I decide to push even further, and since we are standing next to a coffee shop, I ask her to join me for a quick coffee. I make sure I tell her I only have 15 minutes, but she should come along to continue the conversation we are having. After another minute of overcoming objections, she finally agrees to come with me and we start walking towards to coffee shop. We ended up having agood 45 minute conversation.

So, instant dates are a lot of fun, good adventure, and if your schedule permits you should always push for them. All women will give shit tests (especially if you are doing well)… I prefer to deal with them as early as possible and get them out of the way, so I can progress things further quickly. The main advantage of  instant dates is that you deal with these obstacles early on, don’t waste time,and have her get used to you faster which speeds up the seduction. Don’t get satisfied with numbers. Get girls immediately ondates, or if you can’t, then  schedule dates right there and then. Be as direct as possible in your intent, take action, and don’t waste precious time. Pushing for instantdates will make your game tighter. You should always PUSH for more.

Daygamer.net’s Assistant Coach — Absolute

Edit: 1/20: Price goes up from $200 to $300 at midnight tonight (1/21)!

-Cuisine

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I was a speaker and infield daygame coach at this conference last year.  Here it is again!

The Global Pickup Conference (Kings of Pickup), Washington DC (Georgetown) During The Weekend Of March 23th – 25th, 2012

INCLUDED WITH ADMISSION

• 2 Days Of In Class Training
• 1 Full Day Infield Training
• 100 Page Routine Manual (Worth Over $100)
• VIP Forum Access
• VIP Video Vault Access Over 10 Hours of Video Infield & Training Footage (Worth Over $300)
• Free Podcast Subscription
• FREE DC Guide
• FREE Raffle Ticket We will be raffling off FREE Products & Training Throughout the conference.
• Discounts on Hotels & Food
• And Much More…

Speakers:

Speer

Vince Kelvin

Brad P.

Ross Jeffries

David Wygant

Erika Awakening

And More…

Buy tickets here. It is currently only $299, but the price jumps to $399 soon–buy now.

-Cuisine

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DHS to attend online dating conference in Miami Beach

The Department of Homeland Security is set to participate in a discussion panel at an online dating industry conference in Miami in the coming days.

Tom Millar, chief of communications for the Department of Homeland Security’s United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team (US-CERT) is slated to discuss deceptive dating tactics in a January 24 panel at the iDate SuperConference event, said a statement from Ticondergoa Ventures, Inc., the sponsor of the conference. The event takes place on January 23-30, 2012 in Miami Beach.

Millar’s session is designed, said Ticonderoga Ventures, to help dating operators prevent fraud within their respective sites.

The appearance isn’t as unusual as it may seem. DHS and the CERT have been aggressively promoting online safety and security in the last few months through the agency’s “Stop. Think. Connect” campaign. On Jan. 10, DHS’ Web blog posted a series of tips on how the public and DHS employees can remain secure online.  According to Ticonderoga, Millar’s Miami appearance is part of DHS outreach program called “Cyber Week” in the city.

Online dating service providers will get their money’s worth from Millar on Cyber security. He joined US-CERT in 2007 and helped develop the organization’s response to the Distributed Denial of Service (DDoS) attacks on Estonia in 2007, the outbreak of the Conficker worm and the DDoS attacks on major US government and commercial websites in 2009. He is currently US-CERT’s chief of communications.

The Department of Homeland Security is in the Miami area from January 23-26, 2012 for the “Stop.Think.Connect.” campaign’s Miami Cyber Week Outreach Program, said Ticonderoga. Cyber Week will directly engage the greater Miami community in promoting awareness and dialogue about the dangers Americans face online, it said. Cyber Week is part of the larger DHS cyber mission to arm citizens with the resources and tools needed to protect themselves, their families, their communities, and the nation against growing cyber threats, it said.

Edit: DC Life is a bit behind with the January issue. I’ll post a link when the issue is out.

-Cuisine

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Clients often ask me how to meet women at the gym, since it is a place where they spend a lot of time.  Plus, generally they share common interests (fitness and living a healthy lifestyle) with other people at the gym. So, how do you meet women at the gym? The gym is a social environment, a place where people spend a lot of time and often know the staff and other people who are there working out.  Below are my tips for meeting women at the gym:

Choose your gym carefully. You want a gym that meets your needs and interests. This could mean joining a gym with pools, running tracks, saunas, basketball courts, specific classes (see below), rock climbing walls, etc. The happier you are with your overall gym experience, the more successful you will be meeting people there. And, you could have fitness preferences and conversation topics in common with a potential match–you both like to swim, run, rock climb, or practice yoga.  Tour the gym to see if it has the equipment and facilities you need, and see if the type of women you are interested in work out there.

Dress well. In a gym, I wear cool t-shirts (as far as design, logo, or message), but that isn’t the only way to go. You want to show that you have style. Don’t wear worn out or ratty sneakers or clothes.  I have seen people wearing clothes with stained armpits or holes and that is not the way to go.

Get to know the staff.  If you want personal training to jump start your workout, consider scheduling time with a trainer. Many gyms give free sessions with trainers to get you to join; some even offer discounted memberships and/or sessions with trainers through daily deal websites like LivingSocial.com. Personal training sessions put you in more of a direct client-trainer relationship with the staff member, making him or her more interested in helping you in general. These trainers might even introduce you to people, or give you intel without you even asking.   Be friendly with all the employees you encounter (trainers/instructors, assistants, front desk, etc.); it will be helpful when women see you getting along well with the staff, especially (but not exclusively) female staff.

Talk to women you are interested in. You do not have to start a conversation based on working out. Do not start conversations with “excuse me” (because you are then assuming that you are interrupting them) but simply start the conversation with a situational topic or general theme. My gym conversations tend to be about music (what is playing, if I can change the music, what I’m listening to on headphones, what the other person is listening to on headphones), TV (what is on it, if I can change it, similar shows to what is on the TV, new shows), or food (because I’m into food), but you could just as easily talk about movies (probably not horror), hiking, adventure sports, or a variety of other subjects. You are leading the conversation, but if a subject consistently doesn’t work, try new ones.  Humor works as well as long as it comes off as natural and not forced or nervous. Some more specific info about talking to people at the gym:

Talk to women in different areas of the gym to see what works for you. I have had success talking to women who are on the next treadmill, as well as women on weight machines near me, with the former being longer conversations with people who often would rather talk to you than be bored on a treadmill, and the latter being shorter conversations that you drop and pick up again as you move around the gym.  You can also talk to them again another day. I’ll pretty much talk to someone anywhere (except areas that are for women only), with the understanding that some of the conversations will be longer than others.

Pay attention to how responsive she is. If she is really into her workout, she may not be responsive to conversation, but may actually be more open talk at other times, such as the beginning or end of her workout, during a break between different types of exercises, or on another day.

Attend classes. Gyms have a variety of coed classes, which can be a good way to meet people. Check out a variety of classes (yoga, jujitsu, strength/flexibility, body pump, etc.) and see what works for you, both for your workout and meeting people. I know a lot of women go to Zumba and Pilates classes, but I’ve never attended those particular classes. Show up to the classes early so that you can chit-chat with others while waiting for the class to begin.

Have a plan. Think about possible dates or activities that you can do with her if she is responsive. Knowing where good nearby cafes, bars, and restaurants are can be useful. You can also take her to events or plan activities such as hiking.

Get to know other gym-goers. Be friendly and talk to people even if you aren’t interested in a date with them. You don’t want to talk people to death (especially if they are not responsive), but be friendly. Keeping a relatively stable workout schedule will help you see and talk to the same people, but you can also run out of new people to meet that way (unless it is a large gym).  I go to the gym very often and without a set schedule, which allows me to meet a larger variety of people.

I hope this column improves your success and comfort level meeting potential dates at the gym. The more you practice being social (regardless of environment), the easier meeting people becomes.

-Cuisine

Man eater? Not this time! My client now knows better what to look out for.

One of my clients always seems to be in the right place to see interesting demos. He was awed last weekend by how I handles a store manager (unsuccessfully, but also unintentionally, since he really did want to talk to me) AMOGing me with a very hot hired gun but last night was something completely different and just as amazing.

I was in a coffee shop with a client last night, working on fine tuning his answers to personality questions and essay questions on internet profiles. The demo girl was very into me and her body language became more and more interested, and yes, she qualified herself more and more. I also repeatedly called out what she was going to do before she did it. I could have easily gotten her # of bounced her somewhere (if I liked deceptive women).

This girl became the text book demo of the kind of girl my client should watch out for…he would absolutely have went for this girl if I had not opened her…and he would have fallen for all her tricks. She works men to get them to do things for her or buy her things (even if it sometimes fulfills their needs as well)…and in the case of married men…she gives them what they need emotionally, pushes them to stay with their wives, and doesn’t actually sleep with them. With unmarried men, she also gets whatever she wants and maybe sleeps with them, depending on how many men are in her rotation. She was a textbook “Ideal Lover” from Art of Seduction, but her game is all smoke and mirrors (deception). She is used to men not being able to read her since she smiles, doesn’t really truly share of herself (she makes up great stories), and tells them what they want to hear. She just uses her seduction type to manipulate people, while Ideal Lover can also be used in a better way (sensing peoples needs and filling them by using genuine qualities or behaviors you possess).

So, I pointed out her tactics, and her inner game issues so that he could see them. This included pointing out her deceptive body language (shoulder shrugs, reverse head nodding, conflicting facial sub communications of emotion, etc.). She truly believes that everyone is deceptive so its her reality. She is in a pattern and even though she eventually wants marriage/kids, in order to achieve that goal, she will have to start being more genuine and stop gaming unavailable/attached men. She has a fear of not being noticed by people (and is insecure), leading her to game men even harder to validate herself.

The funny thing here, is that while I could read her (and the other men she has met can’t), she could not read me as a person, probably because she thought she thought she was doing better than she was, and also assumes all men are both deceptive and fall for her tricks. She could read some of my tactics really well, but not my motives. She said I worked the room, but could not understand that sometimes I was just being social. And at the point where she realized her errors (such as being very shady with me, when I prefer “genuine” people, even as friends), it was too late for her to change her tactics.

This set was at least an hour long (we were still working on his profile) on and off, and near the end my client tried to DHV me, and suggested I give her my business card (I declined), which is where she realized she wasn’t doing as well as she thought (I knew what I was doing). She did keep trying to get me but I eventually stopped her, but the client had seen what he needed to see, and will be more aware of girls who are gold diggers/users or deceptive. I don’t even want to be friends with girls like this (who might take advantage of my friends), so did not exchange info.

-Cuisine

Texting “call back humor” works, even the same evening. So, if you teased her that she was “trouble” or a “rockstar” then use that in the text. In general, don’t tease girls about a way you do not want them to act…so “brat” may not be the best choice.

I call a girl 2-3 days later, although I’ve found that Sundays at 2 or 3 pm work really well…and girls tend to pick the phone up.

If you have to leave a voice mail, it should be about something you talked about.  She said she just got back from Barcelona so you leave the message “I looked up Barcelona on the web and saw this crazy thing and wanted to know if you saw it when you were there.”

It’s ok to leave a second voicemail the following week but you could also try texting her a few after you left the voicemail.

Some girls either don’t respond to phone calls (or voicemails) or don’t respond to texts.

If you go for a # and she is giving you an email instead, she isn’t interested. Exceptions would be speeddating (where you can get #s but some women think of speeddating as electronic) and a girl who has a BF or a husband and wants to hookup but may share a bill or be with him when you call. If I go for a # and she tried to switch to email or not give it to me, I tell them that we will text later, and get it anyway. Or, I start doing a false takeaway/roll out…and see if they stop me. Sometimes you just need to overcome the objection.

On any given holiday, text all your flakes from the last month or so with “happy X” with X being the holiday. Sometimes it hooks. Heck, you could probably do the same with “happy Friday” but I haven’t tried it.

If you have questions or more tips, email them to cuisine@daygamer.net.

-Cuisine

Deep Rapport: Making deep emotional connections quickly.  I know only a handful of of local guys (all but one are coaches) who are really good at this but if you can be decent at it, it will help with LMR and deeper connections. Basically you are being vulnerable and sharing deep things about yourself. An example is telling how your divorce crushed you but made you a stronger person.

Wide Rapport: “We can talk about anything.” This is often called “comfort.” Basic conversational skills plus knowing what questions to ask so that you always have somewhere to go whatever her answer. I do this with “Where are you from?” since I can always use it to jump to food. She says she is form California…”You one of those West Coast Girls who think Mexican food sucks here?” (They always say yes.) “I know where the good taco joints are but am not telling.”

Comfort: Some people would call this “safety.” She feels safe with you. A lot of the larger guys that I know have a problem with this in sexual escalation, but if you use have been using the “protector” attraction trigger in your stories and interractions, it should help. “Preselection” (women like you, you have women in your life) might help as well.

-Cuisine

-Cuisine
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7 Signs You Should Ask Him Out
by Scott Alden on October 17, 2011

It’s 2011. It’s okay for a woman to ask a man out on a date. Sure, it can be an ego boost to be “chosen,” but that’s no excuse to wait around for a man who’s dropping signals left and right to ask you out. This is outdated thinking. If a guy likes you — especially if he’s too shy or over-analytical to let you know — he’s not going to be turned off when you show a little interest. He’s going to be psyched.

Still, nobody wants to crash and burn. So how can you know that a man is likely to welcome your advances? Well, there’s no guarantee that a guy is going to say yes when you ask him out (there never is), but there are occasions upon which you may plausibly assume that a guy is interested.

Here are seven “green lights” to watch out for. Any one of these is a probably a good indicator that you won’t be totally humiliated when you go out on a limb, but a combination of two or three? Go for it.

1. He showed up to your thing.

If a guy that you don’t know that well makes it to your party/opening/reading/event, it’s a good indicator that he’s at least interested in your friendship. If he shows up all by himself, you are well within your rights to ask him when he’s free this week for a drink.

2. He “lingers.”

You know that point when you’ve run out of casual conversation fodder but you’re not quite done, and you both pause and kind of regard each other for a moment? You’ve got about six seconds before he rocks back on his heels, sticks is hands in his pockets and says “Okay. So. See you around, yeah?” and walks off.

Go ahead and take those six seconds to ask him out. “Lingering” is an indicator that someone is hoping for something else to happen. Be the one to make it happen.

3. He made you a mix.

No man has ever made a mix for a woman that he wasn’t interested in. I’m not saying if a guy burns the new Wilco album for you, then you should definitely ask him out, but if he actually selected songs with you in mind and put them in a particular order? Jump. On. That.

4. He dresses up a little for you.

He normally a scruffy, t-shirt and jeans kind of dude. But then he shows up for drinks with you and your mutual friends and he’s clean shaven and wearing a blazer? Watch him. Is he smoothing out his jeans or fixing his collar when you’re around? Does he come back from the bathroom with his hair a little bit wet? This probably means that he suddenly, for some reason, cares more about what he looks like than normal. If you notice this consistently, chances are, that reason is you.

5. His friends seem to already know about you.

If he introduces you to one of his friends for the first time and his friend says “Oh, yeah! Hey! Good to meet you!” That means his friend has heard about you. Which means that this man that you’re interested in? He’s been talking about you.

6. He remembers things that you told him and follows up.

“Hey, how was that (thing you mentioned in passing) this weekend?” Yeah, maybe he’s just being nice, but he does want you to know that he’s paying attention. This alone probably shouldn’t prompt you to grab him by the face and kiss him, but there’s a good chance that he’s interested.

7. He touches you when he talks to you.

In fact, he looks for any excuse he can to casually touch you. He could just say your name when he’s trying to get your attention. Instead, he touches your shoulder. He could just nod vigorously when he agrees with the point you’re making. Instead, he slaps you on the knee.

You’re now clear to initiate the exchange of phone numbers. You know. So the two of you can continue to talk about that thing that you so emphatically, knee-slappingly agree on.