Archive for the ‘General’ Category

PUA Q&A

Monday, April 18th, 2011

We’ve gotten some great questions lately.  Here are a few:

What are some common misconceptions newbies make about day and night game?

Day: thinking you are interrupting them.  Using the “Excuse me” (Greenpeace) opener (since it puts them in the frame that they are more important than you and you are interrupting them); you want to approach them more like a friend would than a Greenpeace employee. Not working hired guns (store employees). Getting stuck on the opener and losing control of the conversation.

Night:  They think large sets or mixed sets are more difficult than they are.  Not working hired guns for social proof and/or as targets.

Are most of your clients lawyers?

That’s a DC Question.  It varies, but if you are looking for trends: I do get a lot of lawyers, doctors, students, and doctors as clients as you’d expect.  I also get a lot of military clients, including officers.

Do you do style consultations?

Yes, sometimes combined with daygame sessions.

What advice do you have for daygame newbies?

Practice! Get good wings who you get along well with. Get coaching so that you correct and/or don’t develop bad habits and jumpstart your game.

-Cuisine


Good Article On How To Be Persuasive

Saturday, March 5th, 2011

Why People Listen to Chris Christie (by Andy Goodman, free-range thinking (March 2011)

Even if you dislike the New Jersey governor’s politics, you have to respect the way he delivers his message.

Given a choice between increasing taxes on New Jersey’s millionaires or reaching into the pockets of teachers, Governor Chris Christie has gone after the teachers. I could dislike him for that alone, but when you throw in his views on gay marriage (against), a woman’s right to choose (against), and environmental protection (not if it’s bad for business), I really can’t stand the guy. So when I see Christie speak live on TV or recorded in clips on YouTube, why do I find him so darned likable?

Apparently, I’m not alone in this. Christie is a rapidly rising star in the Republican Party and his name keeps surfacing in discussions of the 2012 presidential race. Christie flatly denies any interest, and he does so with humor and humility, which only makes him more likable. In fact, whatever subject he tackles, Christie regularly demonstrates mastery of three techniques essential for delivering a tough message:

Be a person first.
Audiences don’t separate the messenger from his message. If they

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie

don’t like the speaker, they’re probably not going to like (or even listen to) what he has to say. Christie clearly understands this, so he frequently talks about himself or his family to establish a connection with his audience before getting into potentially sticky issues.

In the YouTube clip “Chris Christie on His Style,” a voter chastises the governor for his brusque, often confrontational approach. Christie offers this reply: “I have an Irish father, and I had – before she passed away six years ago – a Sicilian mother. Now, for those of you who have been exposed to the combination of Irish and Sicilian, it has made me not unfamiliar with conflict. In my house, my parents left nothing unsaid.” Listen to how Christie delivers this line (during the first minute of this clip) and you’ll see why the audience laughs and, more importantly, how Christie became a person in that room before he had to be a politician.

Connect on an emotional level.
There’s a reason politicians talk about the battle for “hearts and minds” and not for “minds and hearts.” Human beings respond emotionally to incoming information even before their brains are fully engaged. If our emotions are negative (e.g., anger, distrust, fear), our brains will find ways to ignore or discount the incoming information. In short: we believe what we want to believe.

Christie understands this, too, and he often uses humor to emotionally connect with his audiences before asking them to seriously consider a controversial proposition. Forced to explain why he believes New Jersey’s teachers should contribute part of their salaries to cover health care benefits, Christie manages to be both funny and persuasive in this clip, aptly titled “This is the crap I have to hear.”

Tell stories.
In a recent profile on Christie, New York Times political columnist Matt Bai recounted how the governor used a story to explain a fundamental problem with his state’s insurance plans:

When he was a federal prosecutor, Christie told the audience, he got to choose from about 100 health-insurance plans, ranging from cheap to quite expensive. But as soon as he became governor, the “benefits lady” told him he had only three state plans from which to choose, Goldilocks-style; one was great, one was modestly generous and one was rather miserly. And any of the three would cost him exactly 1.5 percent of his salary.

“You’re telling me,” Christie said he told the woman, feigning befuddlement, “that no matter which one I pick – the good one, or the O.K. one, or the bad one – I’m going to pay 1 1/2 percent of my salary?” And she said, “Yes.”

“And I said, then everyone picks the really good one, right? And she said, ‘Ninety-six percent of state employees pick the really good one.’”

“Which led me to have two reactions,” Christie told the crowd. “First, bring those other 4 percent to me! Because when I have to start laying people off, they’re the first ones!” His audience burst into near hysterics. “And the second reaction was, of course I would choose the best plan,” Christie said, “and so would you.”

[Excepted from "How Chris Christie Did His Homework," The New York Times, February 27, 2011]
Christie also abides by a basic rule of narrative: a strong protagonist needs an equally powerful antagonist to make the story interesting. At the same time, he is very careful when choosing antagonists. In his campaign to have teachers cover a portion of their health care costs, Christie is careful not to make the teachers themselves his antagonist. Instead, he casts their union in that role.

“The union collects $730 a year from every teacher and school employee in the union in mandatory dues,” Christie told one audience in New Jersey. “And if you don’t want to join the union, here’s your option: you can be out, [but] you pay 85% of $730 to be out. It’s like the Hotel California, you know? You can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave.” (Click here to see the entire clip, “Not About Teachers” on YouTube.)

In a tribute to Ronald Reagan last February, former U.S. Senator Fred Thompson wrote, “His reputation as The Great Communicator boils down to three basic traits: he was simple; he was clear; he was sincere.” Christie displays those traits as well, and even if he’s not running in 2012, he’s already vying for the title of Next Great Communicator. Those who oppose his agenda and have tough messages of their own to convey would do well to learn from his success.

 

1/2 off Speeddating at Date & Dash

Saturday, March 5th, 2011

Here is a half off special on Date & Dash, a Speeddating company which has events in various cities. There is a day left of the special.

Also, the code “lair” still saves you $5 on Pros in the City events, including Speeddating. Oscar and I are tecahign a women’s only class through them in Dc on this Monday evening.

-Cuisine

Dating Goals: How To Get The Right Girl!

Sunday, October 31st, 2010

This is a recurring theme. :) I read a post on a message base about a guy who was having a hard time with a girl who was telling her friends he is her boyfriend, but that was not how he felt about the situation.  They had never had “the talk.”
I want to talk about how to set it up next time, with the next girl, so this doesn’t happen again.

#1. Know your goals.  If you are looking for FWBs, LTR, MLTR, a wife, a wife & kids, etc…you need to know what that goal is and be firm in it.

#2. Screen girls to make sure they match your goals.  If you are a same day pull super casual sort and you are in a bar looking for a girl to take home that night…you can use the screening questions in Nick Quick’s (AKA Adonis) book (as an example).  If she fails to answer one correctly (including logistics questions), move to the next girl, next girl, next girl, until you find the girl who is going to go home with you.   You can easily come up with questions to screen for a serious girlfriend, future wife, future wife and mother of your kids, etc. This is done over the initial meeting and subsequent dates. But you CAN screen for casual vs serious on an initial meeting.

3. This is really done at same time as #2.  Sub-communicate and communicate who you are and what you are looking for from the beginning.  You are setting the frame and managing expectations.  This is done before you even sleep w/her. Also, some girls, can go with a variety of goals, if you are leading her and clear.  As an example, casual guys tell women “I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”  Or, if you treat a girl like a serious girlfriend (make a point of introduce her to your close friends/family, have a drawer for her at your house, make her breakfast, have traditional “dating-frame dates), that is what she thinks she is, even if you don’t talk about it (although she may push the conversation about being serious).  It isn’t about one thing you do…its a combination of things that set the frame.

4. continue doing the other steps and sticking to your guns. They will test you.  And if a girl isn’t buying the frame and that isn’t going to change, move on…and find a girl who wants what you want.

-Cuisine

Android Apps Useful For PUAs, Installment 2

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

Here are some more useful android apps:

  • 3 Banana Notes (Catch.com) is a note taking program that is compatible with your Google account, and let’s you share notes via email, Facebook, Twitter, and QRCode. You can attach photos to notes, use the passcode lock, and use the quick note widget.  Easy to use and very useful after a sarge when you want to enter notes about HBs before you forget details.
  • Google Maps is a given as far as usefulness, and probably comes installed with your phone.  It can help you find your date location regardless of if you are wlaking, biking, driving, or using public transportation.
  • Fresh Face (MaPPN, INc.) is useful for customizing your homescreen and is free.  There are better programs if you want to pay.  I am using the beach theme, which HBs seem to like–it’s peacocking for your phone.  It isn’t designed for the Droid X but works fine, although installing it wiped my widgets out–I reinstalled one ones I still wanted and left one screen blank.
  • Actually, it is a memory hog and wound up having problems on Droid-X. Uninstalled. I kept the beach wallpaper though.

  • Flashlight–there are various ones you can use…useful for dark clubs…and some have colored or strobing lights which can be used as peacocking.
  • Urban Spoon (and Yelp and Loopt) are useful for finding restaurants and such to plan dates. Yelp has tons of review of all kinds of businesses.

Droid Apps Useful For PUAs, Installment 1

Friday, September 17th, 2010

I recently bought a Droid X, and have been trying out various apps.  Here are 5 apps that are useful to PUAs.  I’ll followup with more in separate articles.

  • AutoContact (ZeroTouchSystems) is nice because on incoming calls it automatically asks you if you want to save the number as a contact.  I paid a dollar and change (converted from British Pounds) to have this feature for outgoing calls as well.  Now I don’t forget to add contacts from new phone calls. This is the only app I’ve paid for so far.
  • QuickContact (Gizmog Software) is an easier way to enter contacts, since the default way of adding contacts (without having dialed them first) is clunky.  You can just go through a bunch of your handwritten or business card #s and enter them all as contacts without dialing them first. Then you can text them all, and I’m sure there are some good apps for group texting…I may look into that for a followup article. :)
  • Online Game: OKCupid has a Droid  app, while Eharmony and Jdate do not. OKC should have  away to rate people on the app like you can on the site…I do feel like it is missing some functionality in general, but it works.
  • Meebo IM combines various IM programs, AIM, MSN, Yahoo, MySpace, etc.  It works fine but was much better when it included Facebook chat.  You can set it up to log your conversations. I hear Trillian is coming out with an app soon–it might be better.
  • Pickup Artist Seduce Women (Buzly Labs) is a collection of articles (within the topics of Inner Game, Outer Game, Routines, and Other) by gurus such as Style, Deangelo, Carlos Xuma, Mystery, and Sinn.
  • Cocky and Funny PUA (Buzly Labs) is another collection of articles and material.

Learned something about different Gym venues, and abdominal thrusts

Saturday, August 7th, 2010

While sarging at a the gym at a “Y” (YMCA) you HAVE to screen for age, even if she looks 22. There are a lot of teens working out there.

My new physical trainer had me doing various exercises and some were easier than other. At one point she had me lie on my back and hold me but up. “higher. hold it.” 15 seconds. 30….etc. And she keeps waiting and I keep holding and waiting and holding…and she starts looking at me incredulously.

HB7 trainer:
“That one is easy for you, eh?”
Me: “Its like having sex. abdominal thrust…it is from dating women who are much taller than me.” Gaming tall galls has apparently increased my lower body strength. heh. LOL.

Today’s horoscope translates to game…

Friday, July 30th, 2010

“What qualifies as an error in the minds of most normal people counts to you as a resounding success. What makes the difference?”

This is from the Express. Horoscopes don’t usually end in questions. But yes, it has to do with framing, and knowing what one’s goals are. If you don’t know what I was trying to do, it may have been a success instead of an error. :)

-Cuisine

Friend Support

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

I recently had a client tell me that his female friends won’t help him with girls. They tell him they won’t help him FC. It’s all framing…your friends should like you and want you to succeed (at business, in your relationships, etc). Frame it as you looking for a girlfriend…and then if you talk to girls, they should be ok with it. And, they should never interfere with you talking to girls. That is why we don’t use ex g/fs or girls with crushes on us as pivots (girls who help us with other girls). If they are getting in your way, that relationship needs to be re-evaluated or the person needs to be talked to about it. Same thing if male friends are AMOG’ing you.

Also, you can help your pivots with guys – in the field or with friends.

I generally frame PU as a journey of self improvement, and noways…I frame myself as a coach (someone out to help people with this journey).

Some naturals will AMOG even if they are your friends. I have one who does it but he can’t stop me from pulling. If a friend is holding you back, don’t take him to places where you want to talk to girls. You want cool wingmen you vibe with, and you will then help each other with women.

Anyone want a used Lair domain name? :)

Monday, July 12th, 2010

I now own the domain Dclair.com, and am taking offers. So if you have a lair (you know who you are) and want to redirect the name, or chage your name. Or, maybe you want to start a lair in Washington DC. The original Dclair couldn’t get this name (because someone was sitting on it) so they used (originaldclair.com); they are currently defunct anyway. DC Lair was the oldest lair in the country.

If not, I can redirect it here or start a general blog for it. I have no plans to ressurect the lair itself.