Day Gamer

2/2: Price goes up from $300 to $400  tomorrow! Info here. Buy tickets form my link here.

-Cuisine

You should whenever possible set up the actual date during your initial conversation. THEN you can trade information so you can text the day of…if necessary. You will get less flakes this way.

Texting “call back humor” works, even the same evening. So, if you teased her that she was “trouble” or a “rockstar” then use that in the text. In general, don’t tease girls about a way you do not want them to act…so “brat” may not be the best choice.

I call a girl 2-3 days later, although I’ve found that Sundays at 2 or 3 pm work really well…and girls tend to pick the phone up.

If you have to leave a voice mail, it should be about something you talked about.  She said she just got back from Barcelona so you leave the message “I looked up Barcelona on the web and saw this crazy thing and wanted to know if you saw it when you were there.”

It’s ok to leave a second voicemail the following week but you could also try texting her a few after you left the voicemail.

Some girls either don’t respond to phone calls (or voicemails) or don’t respond to texts.

If you go for a # and she is giving you an email instead, she isn’t interested. Exceptions would be speeddating (where you can get #s but some women think of speeddating as electronic) and a girl who has a BF or a husband and wants to hookup but may share a bill or be with him when you call. If I go for a # and she tried to switch to email or not give it to me, I tell them that we will text later, and get it anyway. Or, I start doing a false takeaway/roll out…and see if they stop me. Sometimes you just need to overcome the objection.

On any given holiday, text all your flakes from the last month or so with “happy X” with X being the holiday. Sometimes it hooks. Heck, you could probably do the same with “happy Friday” but I haven’t tried it.

If you have questions or more tips, email them to cuisine@daygamer.net.

-Cuisine

A friend recently said he has a comfort problem which he just defines as “connection.”  There are actually several kinds of rapport/comfort and ideally you would be good at all of them:

Deep Rapport: Making deep emotional connections quickly.  I know only a handful of of local guys (all but one are coaches) who are really good at this but if you can be decent at it, it will help with LMR and deeper connections. Basically you are being vulnerable and sharing deep things about yourself. An example is telling how your divorce crushed you but made you a stronger person.

Wide Rapport: “We can talk about anything.” This is often called “comfort.” Basic conversational skills plus knowing what questions to ask so that you always have somewhere to go whatever her answer. I do this with “Where are you from?” since I can always use it to jump to food. She says she is form California…”You one of those West Coast Girls who think Mexican food sucks here?” (They always say yes.) “I know where the good taco joints are but am not telling.”

Comfort: Some people would call this “safety.” She feels safe with you. A lot of the larger guys that I know have a problem with this in sexual escalation, but if you use have been using the “protector” attraction trigger in your stories and interractions, it should help. “Preselection” (women like you, you have women in your life) might help as well.

-Cuisine

Ok, this was written for women, but it should work for either sex.

-Cuisine
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7 Signs You Should Ask Him Out
by Scott Alden on October 17, 2011

It’s 2011. It’s okay for a woman to ask a man out on a date. Sure, it can be an ego boost to be “chosen,” but that’s no excuse to wait around for a man who’s dropping signals left and right to ask you out. This is outdated thinking. If a guy likes you — especially if he’s too shy or over-analytical to let you know — he’s not going to be turned off when you show a little interest. He’s going to be psyched.

Still, nobody wants to crash and burn. So how can you know that a man is likely to welcome your advances? Well, there’s no guarantee that a guy is going to say yes when you ask him out (there never is), but there are occasions upon which you may plausibly assume that a guy is interested.

Here are seven “green lights” to watch out for. Any one of these is a probably a good indicator that you won’t be totally humiliated when you go out on a limb, but a combination of two or three? Go for it.

1. He showed up to your thing.

If a guy that you don’t know that well makes it to your party/opening/reading/event, it’s a good indicator that he’s at least interested in your friendship. If he shows up all by himself, you are well within your rights to ask him when he’s free this week for a drink.

2. He “lingers.”

You know that point when you’ve run out of casual conversation fodder but you’re not quite done, and you both pause and kind of regard each other for a moment? You’ve got about six seconds before he rocks back on his heels, sticks is hands in his pockets and says “Okay. So. See you around, yeah?” and walks off.

Go ahead and take those six seconds to ask him out. “Lingering” is an indicator that someone is hoping for something else to happen. Be the one to make it happen.

3. He made you a mix.

No man has ever made a mix for a woman that he wasn’t interested in. I’m not saying if a guy burns the new Wilco album for you, then you should definitely ask him out, but if he actually selected songs with you in mind and put them in a particular order? Jump. On. That.

4. He dresses up a little for you.

He normally a scruffy, t-shirt and jeans kind of dude. But then he shows up for drinks with you and your mutual friends and he’s clean shaven and wearing a blazer? Watch him. Is he smoothing out his jeans or fixing his collar when you’re around? Does he come back from the bathroom with his hair a little bit wet? This probably means that he suddenly, for some reason, cares more about what he looks like than normal. If you notice this consistently, chances are, that reason is you.

5. His friends seem to already know about you.

If he introduces you to one of his friends for the first time and his friend says “Oh, yeah! Hey! Good to meet you!” That means his friend has heard about you. Which means that this man that you’re interested in? He’s been talking about you.

6. He remembers things that you told him and follows up.

“Hey, how was that (thing you mentioned in passing) this weekend?” Yeah, maybe he’s just being nice, but he does want you to know that he’s paying attention. This alone probably shouldn’t prompt you to grab him by the face and kiss him, but there’s a good chance that he’s interested.

7. He touches you when he talks to you.

In fact, he looks for any excuse he can to casually touch you. He could just say your name when he’s trying to get your attention. Instead, he touches your shoulder. He could just nod vigorously when he agrees with the point you’re making. Instead, he slaps you on the knee.

You’re now clear to initiate the exchange of phone numbers. You know. So the two of you can continue to talk about that thing that you so emphatically, knee-slappingly agree on.

The body language aspects of this article are good.  They apply to more than just make outs.

-Cuisine

—————————–

THIS IS CLIFF’S PRIVATE LIST, A F*R*E*E* E-MAIL RELATING TO
SEDUCTION

Cliff’s List is hosting a series of seduction, pickup and dating
tips from various well-known gurus in the seduction community for
Askmen, the largest men’s website. Here are two from Zan Perrion on
how to talk to a girl (http://www.cliffslist.com/link/10c) and
natural game (http://www.cliffslist.com/link/ys), and one from
Haley Quinn on commitment signs
(http://www.cliffslist.com/link/zI). There are more to come, so stay
tuned !

Joshua Pellicer:

If you’ve ever seen a guy in a bar walk up to a girl he didn’t know
and make out with her almost immediately, it can be a completely
mind-blowing experience. It may seem like it’s magical or out of
reach … a special ability or super-power that someone is born
with.

But it’s not. And it can be broken down into a few simple steps you
can follow in order to make the same thing happen for you. In this
article, I’m going to break down those steps.

The first step is to realize that about 90% of the difference
between someone who’s really good with women and someone who’s not
so good or mediocre is the ability to spot a woman who’s ready to
make out.

I know it sounds kind of crazy at first, but it’s true. If you walk
into a bar and go up to any woman without knowing what signs to
look for, your odds of success go WAY down. You must know how to
spot that woman who’s already in this “make-out ready” state, so
you can walk up and be “that guy.”

Don’t buy into the myth that women don’t want this to happen. Women
are as sexual (if not more so) than guys are. Most of the time,
this “turbo” make-out session never happens because so many guys
are afraid to go for it. And when this doesn’t happen, the girls
end up going home alone, or worse … staying and being kind of
mean to a lot of guys in the bar / being resentful and angry
because no one’s approaching them.

When putting this technique into practice, you want to discover how
to see the women whom you’re able to make out with in 40 seconds or
less in the first place.

There are a few excellent indicators that will (especially in a bar
atmosphere) tell you if a woman is game, or ready for an instant
make-out session.

What To Look For

The first indicator is a woman looking down often. When a woman
looks down often, she is accessing her emotions. Let me explain …
when we look in different directions, we access different parts of
our brain. These are called “Eye Accessing Cues.” When a woman is
in a bar sitting and looking down, she’s accessing her emotional
brain.

If she makes eye contact with you, looks down then back up again,
she’s saying: “I have an emotional response to you looking at me
and I’m looking down.” And if she tilts her head down as well (and
doesn’t just use her eyes to look down), she’s physically dropping
herself a little bit lower and showing submission. This gives you
the ability to walk up and be the dominant man.

Now, if she looks at you, smiles, and doesn’t look away, this could
be a much more difficult situation. Socially, she’s meeting you
head on, and not showing immediate submission. Women whom you’re
going to be able to walk up to and make out with in 40 seconds or
less should automatically take the submissive role as a woman.
That’s one quality which shows you’ll be able to quickly make out
with her.

Another quality is that she’s actively looking around to make eye
contact. This is crucial. A woman who is engaged with someone
specifically and is not looking away is not going to be as easy to
seduce in 40 seconds or less. It’s going to take much longer.
Again, you’re going to have to play a totally different kind of
game when you walk up. You can’t just walk up and make out with her.

So instead, if you see a woman who is in a conversation but she’s
constantly looking around and trying to make eye contact with a lot
of people, this is a very, very likely opportunity for you, and
that’s probably a woman you can walk up to and immediately become
sexual with.

Other traits are revealed in the way they’re moving and how they’re
dressed. Let’s say she’s standing with her feet about
shoulder-width apart. It’s less likely that a woman standing like
this is going to be available for you to walk up and dominate.
That’s because she’s standing in a dominant position with stronger
body language, and she’ll probably be a lot more resistant.

Instead, you want to find a woman who takes up less space. She has
her legs closer together and seems to be outside of a group,
looking around a little bit.

Another thing is the way she’s dressed. If she’s dressed in a way
that’s super flashy and attracting lots of attention, she probably
isn’t the kind of girl you can walk up to and make out with in 40
seconds. This kind of women is looking for attention – not for
someone to dominate them. What you want is someone who’s in between
“I don’t care”  and “Stare at my tits, bitch !” Somewhere between
wearing sweatpants with an elastic waistband to the bar and being
done up really, really beautiful and sexy with a really low-cut
shirt. You want to find someone who’s in between those two extremes.

A lot of women who are on vacation fall into this realm. They don’t
want to over dress or under dress, and don’t know how the bar
atmosphere is going to be. They’ll usually come in open-minded, and
start looking around trying to make connections. This is an
excellent situation for you (and her, of course).

That’s what to look for and how you spot her in the first place. If
you see some of those, you want to watch her for a second. If you
think that she is the kind of person you can walk up to and do
this, then proceed. If not, I’d actually suggest you proceed
anyway, just to see what happens.
Next, right after you get that done and you’ve seen your girl
(there are probably three or four of these girls in a bar at any
given moment) you’re going to walk up and start the scary part.

What To Do

This is where the most powerful kind of frame control comes in.
It’s very, very important that you understand how to control
someone else’s frame if you want to come across like you’re a pro
at this. By “frame,” I basically mean their “reality.” You’re
controlling what they experience. You have to be able to stay in
control of that experience in order to really bring her to the
level where she feels comfortable making out with you immediately.

I’m going to give you a very quick, punchy, fast way of doing this.
I’ll explain as quickly as possible; that way you can go straight
out and try it …

Here’s what I would say, word-for-word. Walk up to a girl. When you
get up to her and right when she makes eye contact with you, I want
you to SLOWLY put your finger up by your lips and say this: “Shhh …”

Then slow your speech pattern down and deepen your vocal tonality.
And immediately say, “Wait just one moment.”

You can also say, “Stop for one minute.” I suggest using a bit of
NLP here. Whenever someone hears “stop,” “wait,” or “don’t,” they
immediately register whatever comes after that. So if I say, “Don’t
think of a black cat,” what do you do ? Immediately, you think of a
black cat, and whatever version of one you have in your head.

So if I said, “Don’t try to make out with me,” or “Don’t make out
with me right now,” girls are going to be consciously hearing,
“Don’t make out with me,” but their subconscious minds will be
hearing, “Make out with me right now !”

You’re attempting to sort of use real-life Inception to get
making-out with you to be HER idea. She should be thinking, “I
should make out with this guy.”

Now, during frame control you’ll be using a lot of these
subconscious triggers in order to get this to go as fast as
possible. PLEASE ONLY USE THIS FOR GOOD. There are lots of evil
ways to use this.
Don’t try to seduce women who don’t want to be seduced. Again,
that’s one of the reasons why it’s important that you notice a
woman who really does want to be seduced by a man.

So to recap so far: you walk up, you put your finger over your lips
and you tell her to “Shhh” for a second, and then you say a
sentence that starts with “don’t” or “wait” or “stop.”

My typical statement is, “Don’t worry … right now.” That’s all I
say. And I slow that speech down – “Don’t … worry … right now.”

Then I go right into the next statement, which is: “You and I are
going to have a secret. We’re going to secretly kiss and no one
will know.”

And as I’m saying this, I’m leaning in … and you’ll be doing the
same when you do it. You’re leaning in ever … so … slowly. At
the same time, you’re looking from her eyes down to her lips and
back up to her eyes again. This is called “Triangulating.” Count to
three looking at her eyes, then look down to her lips and count to
two, look back up and count to three, look down and count to two
… etc. Do that about three or four times as you’re talking.

This can be a lot to remember, so you may want to practice it a
little bit. I wouldn’t expect you’re going to get it perfect the
first time.

So again, you say, “We’re going to have a secret. We’re going to
kiss and no one is going to know.” From here on out, you’re really
just filling up space with words as you’re leaning in so you’re
still controlling the interaction.

So you’re going to very, very slowly, take your right or left hand
- whichever one is more accessible – and reach around her back. You
won’t pull her in toward you or anything yet, just touch her very
lightly.

Signs That It’s Working

Is she looking at your lips ?

If she’s looking at your lips, you have a green light to go
forward. If she’s looking at your eyes, you may want to wait a
second, or turn around and turn back again and try it again. This
resets the meter in her mind, so to speak. When you turn around and
turn back again, most people consider this to be a fresh start in a
conversation. It’s a strange loop-hole in psychology.

For some reason, that’s how we are as humans. When someone turns
away and then turns back, we give them another chance at moving
forward. So if you’re getting some resistance, turn around, turn
back, smile, and continue. If she gives you resistance again, you
probably should back off and find another woman.

If she’s looking at your lips and seems to be very comfortable and
excited, then proceed. You’ll move in very closely and speak almost
directly into her ear.

IMPORTANT !

In a loud environment like a bar, you’ll want to speak louder, but
don’t raise your voice. Make your voice very low so that you have
to be very, very close to her ear for her to hear.

Then you’re going to keep talking … what I usually say is, “No
one is going to see this. It’s just going to be our little secret.
I promise I won’t tell anybody, only if you promise that you won’t
tell anybody either.”

As I’m saying this into her ear, I make sure that she’s feeling my
breath on her neck. So I’m sort of breathing out a little bit more
than normal as I’m speaking so she can feel that hot air on her
neck.

This usually gets a very visceral, deep, sexual response from women
when you do this.

As you’re speaking really close to her ear, you’ll very slowly
press your cheek against hers as you’re talking. Then you’ll move
you head over so that your mouth is closer to hers, and then …
you’ll start kissing her.

And if you do this right, you start out with just one soft peck …
then go straight into making out. It may not seem like it in this
description, but 40 seconds is a long time. This process can happen
in a lot less than 40 seconds – I’ve done it in less time, and I’ve
seen other guys do it, too.

Practice It

What I want you to do is practice this approach. Maybe go for a
minute or two at first, and then get to where you can do this in
about 40 (or even 30) seconds.

You won’t use this tactic all the time. But when the opportunity is
right, it’s really good to have this in your seduction arsenal. You
want to make sure that you have the right kind of tools for the
job, so to speak. Whenever you see a girl who’s in that state and
ready to be seduced, if you beat around the bush, engage in small
talk or generally waste time, she’ll be turned off and you’ve lost
a golden seduction opportunity.

Instead, when you spot this, you want to be able to see her, know
that that’s what she wants, go  in, and give it to her immediately.
This is the major difference between guys who are rock stars at
walking up and seducing a woman … and guys who wish that they
were great at quickly seducing a woman.

There are a lot of other success factors as well. There are
techniques on how to speak with the right tonality … how to touch
her in a way that allows her to feel comfortable and doesn’t turn
off any of her weird alert switches … specific NLP triggers that
you can use to connect and make sure she’s totally in your zone.

What’s taken me from a normal dude to a well-respected dating coach
is knowing a lot of short-cuts like this and knowing when to bring
them out. And these short-cuts can also improve your game with
women.

Remember these characteristics in women who want to be seduced, and
remember – it is possible to make out with a woman in 40 seconds or
less.

Nick Rogue (formerly known as Adonis), the specialist in getting women home the same night you meet them had a free talk for us in DC a while back.  Now, he is offering a free book (“how to be instantly mediocre with women”) and video series.  By mediocre, he means that mediocre is all you need to get laid like a rock star. This guy is the real deal.

-Cuisine

Edit (June 2, 2011):

June 15th is next men’s class. Through Pros In The City and “lair” code still saves you $5.

-Cuisine
—————————-
I have a couple of spots left in my monthly men’s in-field (boot camp) program for May.  Also, I’m doing a couple of sit down classes with Discovering Knowledge.  They are listed below:

-Cuisine

———————————————–

The code “lair” saves you $5 on the 2 Pros In The City classes below:

.

Meeting Women: How to Approach and Attract Women and Get the Women You Really Want to Date (Men Only) Monday, May 2, 2011 Price: $30.00 if purchased by 5 p.m. Friday, April 29 Date: Monday, May 2, 2011 from 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM. Location: Sixth & I Community Center 606 I Street, NW Washington, DC 20001 *Enter through Sixth & I Community Center adjacent to Historic Synagogue Within walking distance from the Gallery Place / Chinatown Metro station Discover some of the secrets of Approaching and Attracting Women (and how to keep the ones YOU want). Meet “Tony’” the kind of guy that you can fully identify with. He has a good life, a fun attitude, a “regular Joe” in most ways. He has a bright future, a lot of friends – but no special girl in his life. Tony never has plans, but hopes that a friend will call and invite him to something or give him ideas of what to do. Tony might go to a bar, but he will just sit there moaning about how he is lousy at meeting the women he craves. Meet “Mike’” the kind of guy that you might fully identify with. He has a good life, a fun attitude, a “regular Joe” in most ways. He has a bright future, a lot of friends, and he has a special girl in his life. When people see the two of them talking, they always seem to be laughing; when they go out, their friends are jealous of this connection. All in all, they have found a level of chemistry and fun that most people would love to experience. Meet “Ken,” the kind of guy that few people can fully identify with (and many wish they could). He has a good life, a fun attitude, and is a “regular Joe” in most ways. He has a bright future, and a lot of friends, but no special girl in his life. Every time you see Ken, he is with a new woman or a couple of them. Ken is always saying the right things, touching the right subjects, and all in all, he is having the time of his life. Which man most closely resembles you? Which one do you want to be? During our conversation, we are going to give you a “map” so that you can plan your path to success. What does it take to connect with women in the ways that they want? Are you familiar with the four types of women and how to best attract each of them? Our presenters are masters of seduction. They have studied, learned and helped both men and women to understand each other and to create the kinds of relationships that both want. Imagine yourself at the beach with the woman that would make you happy. Can you see yourself walking into a party with a girl in each arm? Do you want to have a long term relationship and discover ways in which you can attract the right type of woman? This program is designed to help men get clarity in how to best start conversations that women will find compelling, magnetic and almost impossible to walk away from. You will learn some of the traits that make men irresistible to women and how to highlight those qualities in yourself even if you are just out of school, just out of a divorce or just plain terrible in social settings. Do you remember one of your lady friends saying the following about some other man, “he is so sexy” or “hmmm, there is just something about him”? How great will it be when women are saying the same thing about you? How will you handle the success you notice once you are able to start conversations with women at will? What changes will you also notice after you have gained success at attracting women and created the kind of social life that you know you can have (because you have put into practice what we have taught you)? Don’t miss this class, guys … it will change your life if you put it into action! Absolutely no food or drink allowed in this venue. When: Monday, May 2, 2011 from 7:00 PM – 9:00 PM. Where: Sixth & I Community Center 606 I Street, NW Washington, DC 20001 *Enter through Sixth & I Community Center adjacent to Historic Synagogue Within walking distance from the Gallery Place / Chinatown Metro station Price: $30.00 if purchased by 5 p.m. Friday, April 29   ————————————————————- Meeting Men: How To Get the Man You Really Want to Date (Women Only) Monday, May 16, 2011 Price: $30.00 if purchased by 5 p.m. Friday, April 29 Date: Monday, May 16, 2011 from 7:00 PM – 9:30 PM. Location: Sixth & I Community Center 606 I Street, NW Washington, DC 20001 *Enter through Sixth & I Community Center adjacent to Historic Synagogue Within walking distance from the Gallery Place / Chinatown Metro station Back when mom was young, and “The Rules” seemed to work, there were time-honored ways for a lady to attract a great man. Tradition, small towns, and coy behavior were the tools that savvy grandmothers handed down. But, with those times long faded, what is a big city woman to do? Our experts have those answers and more! The speakers of this introductory seminar have decoded modern society’s social cues to allow women to successfully navigate the rocky waves of single-dom to the shores of dating bliss. This evening you will learn these VITAL skills: · How to create a healthy, sexy, and confident image · How to begin a conversation with a man you choose · How to stop choosing the “wrong guy” · How to use the “LAW OF ATTRACTION” to kick start your search · How to find the men you want in your life by tweaking your life: “The google Principle” · How to employ the “Rule of Clusters” and body language secrets to increase your approachability · How to talk to men: Male Communication 101 Our team is trained in various aspects of social dynamics including body language, event planning, hypnosis, sales and dating. Our curriculum is designed to give you both practical and actionable ways of improving your dating life as well as insight into the male mind. Ladies, the strategies you will learn here are real. Real men telling you what works, including insights gained working with female friends and clients—secrets will be shared with you that make dating successful. Our system is successful because it is based on teaching you how to make your inner beauty shine. Imagine discovering the secrets that when put to use will make YOU irresistible to the right man! Invest in your future by joining us for this life altering event! What women who attended are saying: “Fun, entertaining and thought provoking” -Gail M. “I especially like the exercises & techniques we could try” -Joy D. “You guys are outstanding!” -Karen R. About our speakers: Our first speaker is a Dating Coach who teaches how to begin and improve conversations and create positive impressions. He also specializes in improving your body language and teaching you how to read other people’s body language and ascertain their level of interest. Our second speaker is a Master hypnotist who helps both men and women clear out their past failures and create a more exciting and fun life. His focus is on helping you live the life of your dreams now. His clients love the way he uses NLP, Hypnosis and other energy based modalities to propel them forward. Absolutely no food or drink allowed in this venue. When: Monday, May 16, 2011 from 7:00 PM – 9:30 PM. Where: Sixth & I Community Center 606 I Street, NW Washington, DC 20001 *Enter through Sixth & I Community Center adjacent to Historic Synagogue Within walking distance from the Gallery Place / Chinatown Metro station Price: $30.00 if purchased by 5 p.m. Friday, April 29

We’ve gotten some great questions lately.  Here are a few:

What are some common misconceptions newbies make about day and night game?

Day: thinking you are interrupting them.  Using the “Excuse me” (Greenpeace) opener (since it puts them in the frame that they are more important than you and you are interrupting them); you want to approach them more like a friend would than a Greenpeace employee. Not working hired guns (store employees). Getting stuck on the opener and losing control of the conversation.

Night:  They think large sets or mixed sets are more difficult than they are.  Not working hired guns for social proof and/or as targets.

Are most of your clients lawyers?

That’s a DC Question.  It varies, but if you are looking for trends: I do get a lot of lawyers, doctors, students, and doctors as clients as you’d expect.  I also get a lot of military clients, including officers.

Do you do style consultations?

Yes, sometimes combined with daygame sessions.

What advice do you have for daygame newbies?

Practice! Get good wings who you get along well with. Get coaching so that you correct and/or don’t develop bad habits and jumpstart your game.

-Cuisine

Why People Listen to Chris Christie (by Andy Goodman, free-range thinking (March 2011)