Archive for the ‘Day Game’ Category

Is There a NEW Way to Open in Daygame?

Tuesday, March 3rd, 2015

This article is in response to this article: Daygame 101: A New Way to Open.

I wouldn’t say there is anything “new” here but it’s still worth a read. He is saying things that I’ve been saying and teaching forever, but also is a bit off on a few things. Yes, an approach should not feel like an approach to a woman, it should feel like it just happened (and look to people viewing the conversation like you already knew each other). Then they may if things go well -hello cognitive dissonance- women will feel that it was fate and if things go badly, they won’t.

As far as looking away and back. He should specify whether the eyes went sideways or down because there is a difference. Also, sometimes women look back after you or body scan when they think you aren’t looking looking so keep en eye out (pun intended).

It’s a shame he doesn’t give better examples for Indirect openers because the ones he gives (Excuse me…, and Where is the mall?) aren’t good, the former because it puts you in the frame of interrupting them, and the latter because it is close ended and obviously fake since your phone (GPS) can get you to the mall.

Direct approaches seems to contradict his desire not to startle women, so I’m curious as to whether the author even uses it or when/why.

As for as whether to choose direct and indirect approaches, it’s not as much about your style/vibe as it is how the woman responds to you, so you can use both types of approaches, at the correct times. But, when I say indirect, I mean indirect playful (like Wayne Elise talked about in the day) including possible teasing or banter. I write about direct vs. indirect approach styles here.

-Cuisine

A Metro Approach 3 Years Ago (How I Met My Girlfriend)

Tuesday, May 13th, 2014

Love-TrainI’ve been dating my G/F for over three years, and people often ask how we met. If they are in the game, they ask how the approach went. So here it is:

10am on a Sunday morning I was on my way to the Dupont Farmer’s Market. A girl sat across from me (in front of me)  in the train and started reading a magazine (TVFN). I opened by asking her if the magazine was any good or just an advertisement for Bobby Flay. I would have opened the set regardless, but it was nice to have a prop, especially one related to my identity (food).

I had to do even more talking and drawing the woman out than usual, and screening tools (What do you look for in a man?) did not work (she told me it was cheating), but that has to do with the girl in particular. A lot of game that works for me did not work with her (like with Style’s G/F in the book, The Game) but I recognized that there is a difference between disinterest and “not yet interested” (there were no physical IOIs since she is shy)…and kept going. Also, since I was seated across from her…there was no kino in the train itself.”

We were going to different farmers markets, so I got her to come with me to mine. I even knew one of the women selling us vegetables. I then bounced her to lunch…to a place that a (female) publicist had been trying to get me to try. I have a ethnic/cultural link to the restaurant.

In total, I was with her 2.5 hours on this initial meeting. I got her out the following Sunday (a week later).

-Cuisine

The DC Area is Great for Guys!

Tuesday, April 29th, 2014

This article is circulating about why DC sucks for guys. I do think it’s funny that he thinks there are too many Asian women here since many men are very into Asian women. He is probably just picking the wrong venues since I’ve only ever been to one venue that was overwhelmingly Asian (Lotus). Most of the time, when people say there aren’t enough attractive women around to approach, there is some “approach anxiety” involved (since they aren’t approaching the ones who are available and attractive). Also, if you don’t find enough women somewhere, try other venues.

Rather than tackle all the “self-limiting beliefs” (AKA If you believe it is so, it is for you) listed in the above article, below is my list of a few reasons why the DC area is great for guys.

1) The DC area has the highest female to male ratio in the United States. This includes Maryland (Bethesda and Rockville), DC, and Northern VA.

2) Daygame is great here. You can do street approaches in areas like Dupont Circle, Georgetown, Clarendon, which are all areas full of approachable young women. “Indirect playful” approaches work well here. You will probably receive less interference from other men in daygame than you would in a bar or night club, especially since many women go about their business during the day alone (or in small groups of women).  Street fairs are good venues for meeting women as well.

3) There are a ton of college students and college campuses here. Many people go to areas near the GW and Georgetown campuses to approach young (college age) women because of this. Cafes near universities tend to be hangouts for students as well.

4)This is a huge retail/shopping area. There are a ton of shopping areas in this area, and you can do well with both shoppers and store employees. Eastern Market and Pentagon City Mall combine street game with store, restaurant, and cafe approaches because as you bounce women around with you to different venues (stores, Eastern Market stands, cafes, etc.), they generally get more comfortable with you. And, stores contain props that you can use to start conversations.

5) This is a great city for socializing and networking. There are many social groups here including sports groups (WAKA and NAKID kickball, etc.) and meetup.com groups. There are companies such as Professionals in the City and Things To Do that plan singles events including mixers and speeddating events. And, many organizations host networking, charity, or political events. I’ve been to many events were more women than men. A good event list is Greg’s List DC.

6) There are enough venues in this area that you can definitely find a neighborhood with a few good bars to bounce between when you are approaching women. There are also many bars, restaurants, and cafes to bounce women to.

7) Internet dating is popular here on both free and pay sites. I used to set up 3 internet dates a day for a while, and could have scheduled more.

8) Ethnic/cultural  diversity is huge here (and yes, we have white girls). The DC area has an incredible selection of embassies here, many of which (such as France) plan various types of events. You can meet women from various countries at these events since people often attend the events of other embassies. There are also many venues to salsa dance or learn salsa dancing if you are into Latina women. You can also meet women from various countries at restaurants that feature the food of their countries (such as Russian women dining or working at Mari Vanna). Research the restaurants, dance clubs and events women of different countries attend.

9) There is a large enough PUA community here that you can find wings, without the community being (currently) large enough to be tripping over each other. That may change if they ever make a third season of the TV show, the Pickup Artist. 🙂

-Cuisine

Absolute Insta-date

Saturday, January 28th, 2012

Pic courtesy of DivineCaroline.dot com

Here is a field report by our Assitant Coach, Absolute. Yes insta-dates are a great way to build get a girl comfortable with you (and complying/following you) early on. You can even bouce girls between venues on an actual date for a similar effect…something that works well for internet dates or beginning dates.

-Cuisine

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If you have the time to go on an instant date you should definitely push for it. It’s a great way to advance things faster and build a solid connection. The more time a girl invests in you (especially on a busy weekday), the more likely she is to see you again.

I had an interesting experience today taking a girl for a quick coffee after about a 5 min. conversation. My day is usually pretty busy andfilled up with activities, so in the short hour I have for sarging, I usually choose to quickly get the digits and set up dates later. Today, however, I got the opportunity to take a girl on an instant date and want to share my experience and talk about the benefits of instant dates.

I was walking out of a store when I saw a cute Hispanic girl on my left, about 15 ft. away, coming my way. I looked at her, she looked back, and immediately gave me IOIs by tossing her hair and not breaking eye contact (signs Cuisine made me extra aware of which I now detect instantly). The strong IOIs simply took the “cold” out of the cold approach, and I knew she’d be receptive to me. As the distance between us was shortening and she keptplaying with her hair, I smiled and created a situational opener about her hair.

While still talking, I stopped, then she followed, turned her body all the way towards me and I started running attraction on her, teasing and bantering. She was receptive, but as I was pumping her state up, she kept (consciously or subconsciously) knocking herself out of state, so I knew I should keep persisting until she relaxes.

Couple of minutes into the conversation I decided to setup a date right there and then for another day, so I suggested a day and time. I could see she was interested, but she was reluctant to give me an answer and pushed away; she needed more game for a date. At this point I could’vejust taken the number and get going saying we could schedule the date later onthe phone, which would have been a mistake. Despite her possible objections to giving out her number, I would’ve probably ended up with it, but that would’ve only complicated my job as I had to build the connection and set up the date over the phone. The best thing is to build connection as soon as possible, in person. She will beless likely to flake later. I felt she wanted to keep flirting, so I decided to see how far I can push this thing.

I needed a change of tactics, so I asked if she was going this way (I knew she was), and offered to walk together till I get to the store I was going to (at this point I am still not thinking about an instant date). I told her to get on my right side and with a cheeky smile on my face, I had her lonk arms with me. After we walked like that for a while, she pulled away again, giving me another standard shit test saying something like – “I don’t know you,I just met you”, to which I just told her that it’s her lucky day, but shes hould keep calm cause we are in public and I don’t want her to embarrass me.

We got in front of the coffee shop and after talking foranother 2-3 minutes, her phone rang, she took it out, looked at it and I used the opportunity to take out mine, telling her while she got her phone out we should exchange info. Here she gave me the next shit test, saying she usually doesn’t give her phone number to strangers. After going back and forth for aminute, I told her it’d be fine and we can text (works 9/10 times – – thanks Cuisine), and she finally gave me her number.

At this point, we are about to part when I decide to push even further, and since we are standing next to a coffee shop, I ask her to join me for a quick coffee. I make sure I tell her I only have 15 minutes, but she should come along to continue the conversation we are having. After another minute of overcoming objections, she finally agrees to come with me and we start walking towards to coffee shop. We ended up having agood 45 minute conversation.

So, instant dates are a lot of fun, good adventure, and if your schedule permits you should always push for them. All women will give shit tests (especially if you are doing well)… I prefer to deal with them as early as possible and get them out of the way, so I can progress things further quickly. The main advantage of  instant dates is that you deal with these obstacles early on, don’t waste time,and have her get used to you faster which speeds up the seduction. Don’t get satisfied with numbers. Get girls immediately ondates, or if you can’t, then  schedule dates right there and then. Be as direct as possible in your intent, take action, and don’t waste precious time. Pushing for instantdates will make your game tighter. You should always PUSH for more.

Daygamer.net’s Assistant Coach — Absolute

How To Meet Women At The Gym

Sunday, January 1st, 2012

This article is my portion of the January 2012 “He Said/She Said” Dating Column from DC Life Magazine.The “she” perspective will be in the final article and is from a DC Area Matchmaker.

Edit: DC Life is a bit behind with the January issue. I’ll post a link when the issue is out.

-Cuisine

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Clients often ask me how to meet women at the gym, since it is a place where they spend a lot of time.  Plus, generally they share common interests (fitness and living a healthy lifestyle) with other people at the gym. So, how do you meet women at the gym? The gym is a social environment, a place where people spend a lot of time and often know the staff and other people who are there working out.  Below are my tips for meeting women at the gym:

Choose your gym carefully. You want a gym that meets your needs and interests. This could mean joining a gym with pools, running tracks, saunas, basketball courts, specific classes (see below), rock climbing walls, etc. The happier you are with your overall gym experience, the more successful you will be meeting people there. And, you could have fitness preferences and conversation topics in common with a potential match–you both like to swim, run, rock climb, or practice yoga.  Tour the gym to see if it has the equipment and facilities you need, and see if the type of women you are interested in work out there.

Dress well. In a gym, I wear cool t-shirts (as far as design, logo, or message), but that isn’t the only way to go. You want to show that you have style. Don’t wear worn out or ratty sneakers or clothes.  I have seen people wearing clothes with stained armpits or holes and that is not the way to go.

Get to know the staff.  If you want personal training to jump start your workout, consider scheduling time with a trainer. Many gyms give free sessions with trainers to get you to join; some even offer discounted memberships and/or sessions with trainers through daily deal websites like LivingSocial.com. Personal training sessions put you in more of a direct client-trainer relationship with the staff member, making him or her more interested in helping you in general. These trainers might even introduce you to people, or give you intel without you even asking.   Be friendly with all the employees you encounter (trainers/instructors, assistants, front desk, etc.); it will be helpful when women see you getting along well with the staff, especially (but not exclusively) female staff.

Talk to women you are interested in. You do not have to start a conversation based on working out. Do not start conversations with “excuse me” (because you are then assuming that you are interrupting them) but simply start the conversation with a situational topic or general theme. My gym conversations tend to be about music (what is playing, if I can change the music, what I’m listening to on headphones, what the other person is listening to on headphones), TV (what is on it, if I can change it, similar shows to what is on the TV, new shows), or food (because I’m into food), but you could just as easily talk about movies (probably not horror), hiking, adventure sports, or a variety of other subjects. You are leading the conversation, but if a subject consistently doesn’t work, try new ones.  Humor works as well as long as it comes off as natural and not forced or nervous. Some more specific info about talking to people at the gym:

Talk to women in different areas of the gym to see what works for you. I have had success talking to women who are on the next treadmill, as well as women on weight machines near me, with the former being longer conversations with people who often would rather talk to you than be bored on a treadmill, and the latter being shorter conversations that you drop and pick up again as you move around the gym.  You can also talk to them again another day. I’ll pretty much talk to someone anywhere (except areas that are for women only), with the understanding that some of the conversations will be longer than others.

Pay attention to how responsive she is. If she is really into her workout, she may not be responsive to conversation, but may actually be more open talk at other times, such as the beginning or end of her workout, during a break between different types of exercises, or on another day.

Attend classes. Gyms have a variety of coed classes, which can be a good way to meet people. Check out a variety of classes (yoga, jujitsu, strength/flexibility, body pump, etc.) and see what works for you, both for your workout and meeting people. I know a lot of women go to Zumba and Pilates classes, but I’ve never attended those particular classes. Show up to the classes early so that you can chit-chat with others while waiting for the class to begin.

Have a plan. Think about possible dates or activities that you can do with her if she is responsive. Knowing where good nearby cafes, bars, and restaurants are can be useful. You can also take her to events or plan activities such as hiking.

Get to know other gym-goers. Be friendly and talk to people even if you aren’t interested in a date with them. You don’t want to talk people to death (especially if they are not responsive), but be friendly. Keeping a relatively stable workout schedule will help you see and talk to the same people, but you can also run out of new people to meet that way (unless it is a large gym).  I go to the gym very often and without a set schedule, which allows me to meet a larger variety of people.

I hope this column improves your success and comfort level meeting potential dates at the gym. The more you practice being social (regardless of environment), the easier meeting people becomes.

-Cuisine

 

Now, That Was an Interesting Demo!

Tuesday, November 29th, 2011

Man eater? Not this time! My client now knows better what to look out for.

One of my clients always seems to be in the right place to see interesting demos. He was awed last weekend by how I handles a store manager (unsuccessfully, but also unintentionally, since he really did want to talk to me) AMOGing me with a very hot hired gun but last night was something completely different and just as amazing.

I was in a coffee shop with a client last night, working on fine tuning his answers to personality questions and essay questions on internet profiles. The demo girl was very into me and her body language became more and more interested, and yes, she qualified herself more and more. I also repeatedly called out what she was going to do before she did it. I could have easily gotten her # of bounced her somewhere (if I liked deceptive women).

This girl became the text book demo of the kind of girl my client should watch out for…he would absolutely have went for this girl if I had not opened her…and he would have fallen for all her tricks. She works men to get them to do things for her or buy her things (even if it sometimes fulfills their needs as well)…and in the case of married men…she gives them what they need emotionally, pushes them to stay with their wives, and doesn’t actually sleep with them. With unmarried men, she also gets whatever she wants and maybe sleeps with them, depending on how many men are in her rotation. She was a textbook “Ideal Lover” from Art of Seduction, but her game is all smoke and mirrors (deception). She is used to men not being able to read her since she smiles, doesn’t really truly share of herself (she makes up great stories), and tells them what they want to hear. She just uses her seduction type to manipulate people, while Ideal Lover can also be used in a better way (sensing peoples needs and filling them by using genuine qualities or behaviors you possess).

So, I pointed out her tactics, and her inner game issues so that he could see them. This included pointing out her deceptive body language (shoulder shrugs, reverse head nodding, conflicting facial sub communications of emotion, etc.). She truly believes that everyone is deceptive so its her reality. She is in a pattern and even though she eventually wants marriage/kids, in order to achieve that goal, she will have to start being more genuine and stop gaming unavailable/attached men. She has a fear of not being noticed by people (and is insecure), leading her to game men even harder to validate herself.

The funny thing here, is that while I could read her (and the other men she has met can’t), she could not read me as a person, probably because she thought she thought she was doing better than she was, and also assumes all men are both deceptive and fall for her tricks. She could read some of my tactics really well, but not my motives. She said I worked the room, but could not understand that sometimes I was just being social. And at the point where she realized her errors (such as being very shady with me, when I prefer “genuine” people, even as friends), it was too late for her to change her tactics.

This set was at least an hour long (we were still working on his profile) on and off, and near the end my client tried to DHV me, and suggested I give her my business card (I declined), which is where she realized she wasn’t doing as well as she thought (I knew what I was doing). She did keep trying to get me but I eventually stopped her, but the client had seen what he needed to see, and will be more aware of girls who are gold diggers/users or deceptive. I don’t even want to be friends with girls like this (who might take advantage of my friends), so did not exchange info.

-Cuisine

PUA Q&A

Monday, April 18th, 2011

We’ve gotten some great questions lately.  Here are a few:

What are some common misconceptions newbies make about day and night game?

Day: thinking you are interrupting them.  Using the “Excuse me” (Greenpeace) opener (since it puts them in the frame that they are more important than you and you are interrupting them); you want to approach them more like a friend would than a Greenpeace employee. Not working hired guns (store employees). Getting stuck on the opener and losing control of the conversation.

Night:  They think large sets or mixed sets are more difficult than they are.  Not working hired guns for social proof and/or as targets.

Are most of your clients lawyers?

That’s a DC Question.  It varies, but if you are looking for trends: I do get a lot of lawyers, doctors, students, and doctors as clients as you’d expect.  I also get a lot of military clients, including officers.

Do you do style consultations?

Yes, sometimes combined with daygame sessions.

What advice do you have for daygame newbies?

Practice! Get good wings who you get along well with. Get coaching so that you correct and/or don’t develop bad habits and jumpstart your game.

-Cuisine


Learned something about different Gym venues, and abdominal thrusts

Saturday, August 7th, 2010

While sarging at a the gym at a “Y” (YMCA) you HAVE to screen for age, even if she looks 22. There are a lot of teens working out there.

My new physical trainer had me doing various exercises and some were easier than other. At one point she had me lie on my back and hold me but up. “higher. hold it.” 15 seconds. 30….etc. And she keeps waiting and I keep holding and waiting and holding…and she starts looking at me incredulously.

HB7 trainer:
“That one is easy for you, eh?”
Me: “Its like having sex. abdominal thrust…it is from dating women who are much taller than me.” Gaming tall galls has apparently increased my lower body strength. heh. LOL.

So, where are you from?

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

It is funny, because this may seem like an AFC question (like “What do you do?”) when asked early on but I’m in a very transient city, where people are from everywhere and it gives me (with my food-based identity) an easy jumping point to talking about food.

Yesterday, I picked up a HB8.5 on the bus and (bounced to) metro. She just moved here from S. Cali. Easy jumping point to me telling stories about chili peppers, and to busting her…on CA people thinking Mex food sucks here. Easy transition to seeding and letter settign up a taco date. I generally don’t setup food as a first date, but this is really inexpensive and turns out the same price as meeting for drinks at a HH. And, it’s nearby.

Free Daygame Talk

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

I’m having a free daygame talk in DC on a weekday evening in a couple of weeks. Email me for info and to RSVP at cuisine@daygamer.net.

-Cuisine