Day Gamer

Man eater? Not this time! My client now knows better what to look out for.

One of my clients always seems to be in the right place to see interesting demos. He was awed last weekend by how I handles a store manager (unsuccessfully, but also unintentionally, since he really did want to talk to me) AMOGing me with a very hot hired gun but last night was something completely different and just as amazing.

I was in a coffee shop with a client last night, working on fine tuning his answers to personality questions and essay questions on internet profiles. The demo girl was very into me and her body language became more and more interested, and yes, she qualified herself more and more. I also repeatedly called out what she was going to do before she did it. I could have easily gotten her # of bounced her somewhere (if I liked deceptive women).

This girl became the text book demo of the kind of girl my client should watch out for…he would absolutely have went for this girl if I had not opened her…and he would have fallen for all her tricks. She works men to get them to do things for her or buy her things (even if it sometimes fulfills their needs as well)…and in the case of married men…she gives them what they need emotionally, pushes them to stay with their wives, and doesn’t actually sleep with them. With unmarried men, she also gets whatever she wants and maybe sleeps with them, depending on how many men are in her rotation. She was a textbook “Ideal Lover” from Art of Seduction, but her game is all smoke and mirrors (deception). She is used to men not being able to read her since she smiles, doesn’t really truly share of herself (she makes up great stories), and tells them what they want to hear. She just uses her seduction type to manipulate people, while Ideal Lover can also be used in a better way (sensing peoples needs and filling them by using genuine qualities or behaviors you possess).

So, I pointed out her tactics, and her inner game issues so that he could see them. This included pointing out her deceptive body language (shoulder shrugs, reverse head nodding, conflicting facial sub communications of emotion, etc.). She truly believes that everyone is deceptive so its her reality. She is in a pattern and even though she eventually wants marriage/kids, in order to achieve that goal, she will have to start being more genuine and stop gaming unavailable/attached men. She has a fear of not being noticed by people (and is insecure), leading her to game men even harder to validate herself.

The funny thing here, is that while I could read her (and the other men she has met can’t), she could not read me as a person, probably because she thought she thought she was doing better than she was, and also assumes all men are both deceptive and fall for her tricks. She could read some of my tactics really well, but not my motives. She said I worked the room, but could not understand that sometimes I was just being social. And at the point where she realized her errors (such as being very shady with me, when I prefer “genuine” people, even as friends), it was too late for her to change her tactics.

This set was at least an hour long (we were still working on his profile) on and off, and near the end my client tried to DHV me, and suggested I give her my business card (I declined), which is where she realized she wasn’t doing as well as she thought (I knew what I was doing). She did keep trying to get me but I eventually stopped her, but the client had seen what he needed to see, and will be more aware of girls who are gold diggers/users or deceptive. I don’t even want to be friends with girls like this (who might take advantage of my friends), so did not exchange info.

-Cuisine

You should whenever possible set up the actual date during your initial conversation. THEN you can trade information so you can text the day of…if necessary. You will get less flakes this way.

Texting “call back humor” works, even the same evening. So, if you teased her that she was “trouble” or a “rockstar” then use that in the text. In general, don’t tease girls about a way you do not want them to act…so “brat” may not be the best choice.

I call a girl 2-3 days later, although I’ve found that Sundays at 2 or 3 pm work really well…and girls tend to pick the phone up.

If you have to leave a voice mail, it should be about something you talked about.  She said she just got back from Barcelona so you leave the message “I looked up Barcelona on the web and saw this crazy thing and wanted to know if you saw it when you were there.”

It’s ok to leave a second voicemail the following week but you could also try texting her a few after you left the voicemail.

Some girls either don’t respond to phone calls (or voicemails) or don’t respond to texts.

If you go for a # and she is giving you an email instead, she isn’t interested. Exceptions would be speeddating (where you can get #s but some women think of speeddating as electronic) and a girl who has a BF or a husband and wants to hookup but may share a bill or be with him when you call. If I go for a # and she tried to switch to email or not give it to me, I tell them that we will text later, and get it anyway. Or, I start doing a false takeaway/roll out…and see if they stop me. Sometimes you just need to overcome the objection.

On any given holiday, text all your flakes from the last month or so with “happy X” with X being the holiday. Sometimes it hooks. Heck, you could probably do the same with “happy Friday” but I haven’t tried it.

If you have questions or more tips, email them to cuisine@daygamer.net.

-Cuisine

A friend recently said he has a comfort problem which he just defines as “connection.”  There are actually several kinds of rapport/comfort and ideally you would be good at all of them:

Deep Rapport: Making deep emotional connections quickly.  I know only a handful of of local guys (all but one are coaches) who are really good at this but if you can be decent at it, it will help with LMR and deeper connections. Basically you are being vulnerable and sharing deep things about yourself. An example is telling how your divorce crushed you but made you a stronger person.

Wide Rapport: “We can talk about anything.” This is often called “comfort.” Basic conversational skills plus knowing what questions to ask so that you always have somewhere to go whatever her answer. I do this with “Where are you from?” since I can always use it to jump to food. She says she is form California…”You one of those West Coast Girls who think Mexican food sucks here?” (They always say yes.) “I know where the good taco joints are but am not telling.”

Comfort: Some people would call this “safety.” She feels safe with you. A lot of the larger guys that I know have a problem with this in sexual escalation, but if you use have been using the “protector” attraction trigger in your stories and interractions, it should help. “Preselection” (women like you, you have women in your life) might help as well.

-Cuisine

Ok, this was written for women, but it should work for either sex.

-Cuisine
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7 Signs You Should Ask Him Out
by Scott Alden on October 17, 2011

It’s 2011. It’s okay for a woman to ask a man out on a date. Sure, it can be an ego boost to be “chosen,” but that’s no excuse to wait around for a man who’s dropping signals left and right to ask you out. This is outdated thinking. If a guy likes you — especially if he’s too shy or over-analytical to let you know — he’s not going to be turned off when you show a little interest. He’s going to be psyched.

Still, nobody wants to crash and burn. So how can you know that a man is likely to welcome your advances? Well, there’s no guarantee that a guy is going to say yes when you ask him out (there never is), but there are occasions upon which you may plausibly assume that a guy is interested.

Here are seven “green lights” to watch out for. Any one of these is a probably a good indicator that you won’t be totally humiliated when you go out on a limb, but a combination of two or three? Go for it.

1. He showed up to your thing.

If a guy that you don’t know that well makes it to your party/opening/reading/event, it’s a good indicator that he’s at least interested in your friendship. If he shows up all by himself, you are well within your rights to ask him when he’s free this week for a drink.

2. He “lingers.”

You know that point when you’ve run out of casual conversation fodder but you’re not quite done, and you both pause and kind of regard each other for a moment? You’ve got about six seconds before he rocks back on his heels, sticks is hands in his pockets and says “Okay. So. See you around, yeah?” and walks off.

Go ahead and take those six seconds to ask him out. “Lingering” is an indicator that someone is hoping for something else to happen. Be the one to make it happen.

3. He made you a mix.

No man has ever made a mix for a woman that he wasn’t interested in. I’m not saying if a guy burns the new Wilco album for you, then you should definitely ask him out, but if he actually selected songs with you in mind and put them in a particular order? Jump. On. That.

4. He dresses up a little for you.

He normally a scruffy, t-shirt and jeans kind of dude. But then he shows up for drinks with you and your mutual friends and he’s clean shaven and wearing a blazer? Watch him. Is he smoothing out his jeans or fixing his collar when you’re around? Does he come back from the bathroom with his hair a little bit wet? This probably means that he suddenly, for some reason, cares more about what he looks like than normal. If you notice this consistently, chances are, that reason is you.

5. His friends seem to already know about you.

If he introduces you to one of his friends for the first time and his friend says “Oh, yeah! Hey! Good to meet you!” That means his friend has heard about you. Which means that this man that you’re interested in? He’s been talking about you.

6. He remembers things that you told him and follows up.

“Hey, how was that (thing you mentioned in passing) this weekend?” Yeah, maybe he’s just being nice, but he does want you to know that he’s paying attention. This alone probably shouldn’t prompt you to grab him by the face and kiss him, but there’s a good chance that he’s interested.

7. He touches you when he talks to you.

In fact, he looks for any excuse he can to casually touch you. He could just say your name when he’s trying to get your attention. Instead, he touches your shoulder. He could just nod vigorously when he agrees with the point you’re making. Instead, he slaps you on the knee.

You’re now clear to initiate the exchange of phone numbers. You know. So the two of you can continue to talk about that thing that you so emphatically, knee-slappingly agree on.

Knack is back from Asia for a short time and is planning one Washington DC bootcamp. He coached me when I was new. He is awesome. Email him at theknack500@hotmail.com if you are interested and tell him “Cuisine” sent you. Word has it he was he behind the scenes coach on Season 2 of the Pick Up Artist Show. I may even show and help out a bit.

-Cuisine

From Knack:

Dates for Knacks Bootcamp is Sept 9-11. it will be very intense. Cost is 350. Included will be a meet and greet with Brian from Season 2 of the Pick Up Artist Show.

Pickup 101 is giving their Banter Deck away for free on their website, so I’m sharing the link with you. It’s funny that this banter deck’s copy write is from 2006, since it is something I’d expect them to continuously update. Then again, I haven’t heard much about them in the last few years. Regardless, grab the deck for free.

The body language aspects of this article are good.  They apply to more than just make outs.

-Cuisine

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THIS IS CLIFF’S PRIVATE LIST, A F*R*E*E* E-MAIL RELATING TO
SEDUCTION

Cliff’s List is hosting a series of seduction, pickup and dating
tips from various well-known gurus in the seduction community for
Askmen, the largest men’s website. Here are two from Zan Perrion on
how to talk to a girl (http://www.cliffslist.com/link/10c) and
natural game (http://www.cliffslist.com/link/ys), and one from
Haley Quinn on commitment signs
(http://www.cliffslist.com/link/zI). There are more to come, so stay
tuned !

Joshua Pellicer:

If you’ve ever seen a guy in a bar walk up to a girl he didn’t know
and make out with her almost immediately, it can be a completely
mind-blowing experience. It may seem like it’s magical or out of
reach … a special ability or super-power that someone is born
with.

But it’s not. And it can be broken down into a few simple steps you
can follow in order to make the same thing happen for you. In this
article, I’m going to break down those steps.

The first step is to realize that about 90% of the difference
between someone who’s really good with women and someone who’s not
so good or mediocre is the ability to spot a woman who’s ready to
make out.

I know it sounds kind of crazy at first, but it’s true. If you walk
into a bar and go up to any woman without knowing what signs to
look for, your odds of success go WAY down. You must know how to
spot that woman who’s already in this “make-out ready” state, so
you can walk up and be “that guy.”

Don’t buy into the myth that women don’t want this to happen. Women
are as sexual (if not more so) than guys are. Most of the time,
this “turbo” make-out session never happens because so many guys
are afraid to go for it. And when this doesn’t happen, the girls
end up going home alone, or worse … staying and being kind of
mean to a lot of guys in the bar / being resentful and angry
because no one’s approaching them.

When putting this technique into practice, you want to discover how
to see the women whom you’re able to make out with in 40 seconds or
less in the first place.

There are a few excellent indicators that will (especially in a bar
atmosphere) tell you if a woman is game, or ready for an instant
make-out session.

What To Look For

The first indicator is a woman looking down often. When a woman
looks down often, she is accessing her emotions. Let me explain …
when we look in different directions, we access different parts of
our brain. These are called “Eye Accessing Cues.” When a woman is
in a bar sitting and looking down, she’s accessing her emotional
brain.

If she makes eye contact with you, looks down then back up again,
she’s saying: “I have an emotional response to you looking at me
and I’m looking down.” And if she tilts her head down as well (and
doesn’t just use her eyes to look down), she’s physically dropping
herself a little bit lower and showing submission. This gives you
the ability to walk up and be the dominant man.

Now, if she looks at you, smiles, and doesn’t look away, this could
be a much more difficult situation. Socially, she’s meeting you
head on, and not showing immediate submission. Women whom you’re
going to be able to walk up to and make out with in 40 seconds or
less should automatically take the submissive role as a woman.
That’s one quality which shows you’ll be able to quickly make out
with her.

Another quality is that she’s actively looking around to make eye
contact. This is crucial. A woman who is engaged with someone
specifically and is not looking away is not going to be as easy to
seduce in 40 seconds or less. It’s going to take much longer.
Again, you’re going to have to play a totally different kind of
game when you walk up. You can’t just walk up and make out with her.

So instead, if you see a woman who is in a conversation but she’s
constantly looking around and trying to make eye contact with a lot
of people, this is a very, very likely opportunity for you, and
that’s probably a woman you can walk up to and immediately become
sexual with.

Other traits are revealed in the way they’re moving and how they’re
dressed. Let’s say she’s standing with her feet about
shoulder-width apart. It’s less likely that a woman standing like
this is going to be available for you to walk up and dominate.
That’s because she’s standing in a dominant position with stronger
body language, and she’ll probably be a lot more resistant.

Instead, you want to find a woman who takes up less space. She has
her legs closer together and seems to be outside of a group,
looking around a little bit.

Another thing is the way she’s dressed. If she’s dressed in a way
that’s super flashy and attracting lots of attention, she probably
isn’t the kind of girl you can walk up to and make out with in 40
seconds. This kind of women is looking for attention – not for
someone to dominate them. What you want is someone who’s in between
“I don’t care”  and “Stare at my tits, bitch !” Somewhere between
wearing sweatpants with an elastic waistband to the bar and being
done up really, really beautiful and sexy with a really low-cut
shirt. You want to find someone who’s in between those two extremes.

A lot of women who are on vacation fall into this realm. They don’t
want to over dress or under dress, and don’t know how the bar
atmosphere is going to be. They’ll usually come in open-minded, and
start looking around trying to make connections. This is an
excellent situation for you (and her, of course).

That’s what to look for and how you spot her in the first place. If
you see some of those, you want to watch her for a second. If you
think that she is the kind of person you can walk up to and do
this, then proceed. If not, I’d actually suggest you proceed
anyway, just to see what happens.
Next, right after you get that done and you’ve seen your girl
(there are probably three or four of these girls in a bar at any
given moment) you’re going to walk up and start the scary part.

What To Do

This is where the most powerful kind of frame control comes in.
It’s very, very important that you understand how to control
someone else’s frame if you want to come across like you’re a pro
at this. By “frame,” I basically mean their “reality.” You’re
controlling what they experience. You have to be able to stay in
control of that experience in order to really bring her to the
level where she feels comfortable making out with you immediately.

I’m going to give you a very quick, punchy, fast way of doing this.
I’ll explain as quickly as possible; that way you can go straight
out and try it …

Here’s what I would say, word-for-word. Walk up to a girl. When you
get up to her and right when she makes eye contact with you, I want
you to SLOWLY put your finger up by your lips and say this: “Shhh …”

Then slow your speech pattern down and deepen your vocal tonality.
And immediately say, “Wait just one moment.”

You can also say, “Stop for one minute.” I suggest using a bit of
NLP here. Whenever someone hears “stop,” “wait,” or “don’t,” they
immediately register whatever comes after that. So if I say, “Don’t
think of a black cat,” what do you do ? Immediately, you think of a
black cat, and whatever version of one you have in your head.

So if I said, “Don’t try to make out with me,” or “Don’t make out
with me right now,” girls are going to be consciously hearing,
“Don’t make out with me,” but their subconscious minds will be
hearing, “Make out with me right now !”

You’re attempting to sort of use real-life Inception to get
making-out with you to be HER idea. She should be thinking, “I
should make out with this guy.”

Now, during frame control you’ll be using a lot of these
subconscious triggers in order to get this to go as fast as
possible. PLEASE ONLY USE THIS FOR GOOD. There are lots of evil
ways to use this.
Don’t try to seduce women who don’t want to be seduced. Again,
that’s one of the reasons why it’s important that you notice a
woman who really does want to be seduced by a man.

So to recap so far: you walk up, you put your finger over your lips
and you tell her to “Shhh” for a second, and then you say a
sentence that starts with “don’t” or “wait” or “stop.”

My typical statement is, “Don’t worry … right now.” That’s all I
say. And I slow that speech down – “Don’t … worry … right now.”

Then I go right into the next statement, which is: “You and I are
going to have a secret. We’re going to secretly kiss and no one
will know.”

And as I’m saying this, I’m leaning in … and you’ll be doing the
same when you do it. You’re leaning in ever … so … slowly. At
the same time, you’re looking from her eyes down to her lips and
back up to her eyes again. This is called “Triangulating.” Count to
three looking at her eyes, then look down to her lips and count to
two, look back up and count to three, look down and count to two
… etc. Do that about three or four times as you’re talking.

This can be a lot to remember, so you may want to practice it a
little bit. I wouldn’t expect you’re going to get it perfect the
first time.

So again, you say, “We’re going to have a secret. We’re going to
kiss and no one is going to know.” From here on out, you’re really
just filling up space with words as you’re leaning in so you’re
still controlling the interaction.

So you’re going to very, very slowly, take your right or left hand
- whichever one is more accessible – and reach around her back. You
won’t pull her in toward you or anything yet, just touch her very
lightly.

Signs That It’s Working

Is she looking at your lips ?

If she’s looking at your lips, you have a green light to go
forward. If she’s looking at your eyes, you may want to wait a
second, or turn around and turn back again and try it again. This
resets the meter in her mind, so to speak. When you turn around and
turn back again, most people consider this to be a fresh start in a
conversation. It’s a strange loop-hole in psychology.

For some reason, that’s how we are as humans. When someone turns
away and then turns back, we give them another chance at moving
forward. So if you’re getting some resistance, turn around, turn
back, smile, and continue. If she gives you resistance again, you
probably should back off and find another woman.

If she’s looking at your lips and seems to be very comfortable and
excited, then proceed. You’ll move in very closely and speak almost
directly into her ear.

IMPORTANT !

In a loud environment like a bar, you’ll want to speak louder, but
don’t raise your voice. Make your voice very low so that you have
to be very, very close to her ear for her to hear.

Then you’re going to keep talking … what I usually say is, “No
one is going to see this. It’s just going to be our little secret.
I promise I won’t tell anybody, only if you promise that you won’t
tell anybody either.”

As I’m saying this into her ear, I make sure that she’s feeling my
breath on her neck. So I’m sort of breathing out a little bit more
than normal as I’m speaking so she can feel that hot air on her
neck.

This usually gets a very visceral, deep, sexual response from women
when you do this.

As you’re speaking really close to her ear, you’ll very slowly
press your cheek against hers as you’re talking. Then you’ll move
you head over so that your mouth is closer to hers, and then …
you’ll start kissing her.

And if you do this right, you start out with just one soft peck …
then go straight into making out. It may not seem like it in this
description, but 40 seconds is a long time. This process can happen
in a lot less than 40 seconds – I’ve done it in less time, and I’ve
seen other guys do it, too.

Practice It

What I want you to do is practice this approach. Maybe go for a
minute or two at first, and then get to where you can do this in
about 40 (or even 30) seconds.

You won’t use this tactic all the time. But when the opportunity is
right, it’s really good to have this in your seduction arsenal. You
want to make sure that you have the right kind of tools for the
job, so to speak. Whenever you see a girl who’s in that state and
ready to be seduced, if you beat around the bush, engage in small
talk or generally waste time, she’ll be turned off and you’ve lost
a golden seduction opportunity.

Instead, when you spot this, you want to be able to see her, know
that that’s what she wants, go  in, and give it to her immediately.
This is the major difference between guys who are rock stars at
walking up and seducing a woman … and guys who wish that they
were great at quickly seducing a woman.

There are a lot of other success factors as well. There are
techniques on how to speak with the right tonality … how to touch
her in a way that allows her to feel comfortable and doesn’t turn
off any of her weird alert switches … specific NLP triggers that
you can use to connect and make sure she’s totally in your zone.

What’s taken me from a normal dude to a well-respected dating coach
is knowing a lot of short-cuts like this and knowing when to bring
them out. And these short-cuts can also improve your game with
women.

Remember these characteristics in women who want to be seduced, and
remember – it is possible to make out with a woman in 40 seconds or
less.

Over the years (that I’ve been in game) I have improved my dress style and developed my own personal style. I am complimented often on my hat (because a good hat screams that you have style) and pendants.  What I’ve found interesting is that people look at your outer game for in-congruence and tell you if they find it.   Examples:

In Philly, a Rockabilly musician with a good dress style complimented my hat and pendant (and overall style) but mentioned that I need to get out of the sneakers. Made sense since I was only wearing the sneakers because I was traveling and only had that one pair of shoes on me (I stopped at the gym on the way). Not bringing a pair of nicer shoes as well was laziness on my part.
————-

I dressed down one day and walked through at farmers market (that I visit weekly) in a polo shirt and old shorts and two people mentioned that I was dressed down.  I did have the pendant.

————–

Women ask where my I bought the pendants to see if they are off the shelf or purchased from an artist or crafter. With the way I dress, they figure the pendant isn’t from Macy’s.

-Cuisine

Nick Rogue (formerly known as Adonis), the specialist in getting women home the same night you meet them had a free talk for us in DC a while back.  Now, he is offering a free book (“how to be instantly mediocre with women”) and video series.  By mediocre, he means that mediocre is all you need to get laid like a rock star. This guy is the real deal.

-Cuisine