Archive for December, 2009

Not enough HBs?

Monday, December 28th, 2009

This is a pet peeve of mine. A lot of guys like to say that there aren’t enough HBs (cute girls) in the area, or at an event.  Scarcity mindset.

How many is enough?  How many are you going to take home in an evening anyway?  heh.  Have you opened every one of the HBs you could get to?  If you aren’t approaching the HBs, it doesn’t matter how many are present.  If there are only 4 and you close one..there were plenty for you. 🙂

The comment in question was that the PUA and his friends only saw 20 HBs  in a room of hundreds.  I’m sure there were more than 20 but still – 20 HBs.  Awesome!  When I pressed him on how many of the ten he opened, he said “he could have opened 10 more.”  LOL.

Here are some tips:

Hired guns (employees, whether in a store or a bar) are often hot, and they count as targets.  They also offer good preselection (women like you) and social proof.

You can work the whole room for preselection and social proof.  Vibe with the men (including employees) as well.

Show to events at the beginning so you can get the first crack at HBs when they arrive.  And, you are social proofed when they arrive.

Also, position yourself so that it looks liek people are surrounding and gaming you (lock in).  Leaning with your back to a wall or bar works.

Transitioning

Sunday, December 13th, 2009

This was originally written on 11/12 for the new DCLair blog, which has not went live yet (so Im posting the article here).

-Cuisine

————————-

While coaching and on local discussion boards, I hear these questions often:

“How do I Transition?”

“How do I Transition to…?”

“How do I Transition from…?”

These questions are asked by people who in normal everyday conversation have to problem changing the subject – i.e. transitioning.  You can just change the subject like you would in any conversation.  If there is a common thread, it is easier, but if there isn’t, but if you want to, you can use a transitional phrase like.

“Hey, have you ever…”

“Get this…”

“That reminds me of…”

“My new thing is…”  (That’s actually one of my transitions.)

“My friends and I have been talking about…”

You can also seed your stories earlier (mention something, change the subject, and come back to the original subject)…so you can easily transition back.  Yo can even tell them to remind you to tell them about something later, or they will remind you.

“Remind me to tell you later the story about the the time I…”

I’m talking about transitioning to your other material.  That means you should know your material.  Write it down.  Create a “stack” of your material if necessary…listing examples of the components you will use (Opener, banter, DHV, SOI, etc…) and know how you are transitioning between them.  If you are seeding what your day2 will be (hiking, mojitos, walking your dogs together, cupcakes, a party, etc.) , then it is easier to go get the girl to agree to it and give you her # later when you bring it up.

You can use a “stack”  to list the routines or material that leads you through the steps of your favorite guru’s method if you have one.

Afterbite – Direct Daygame. Updated.

Friday, December 11th, 2009

Hey Cuisine,

I also wanna give you guys my longest version I have in English. Just for the love of the game I made it public….
Please comment on it, I would love to get your expert opinion on my daygame material. And yes, you can put this online on your website as well I would love that as well…

Peace!

Afterbite

——-

Bold and Italics are my comments.

-Cuisine

———–

Afterbite’s Direct Daygame Guide

Direct daygame is all about not wasting too much time when chasing girls during daytime. You will get a LOT more rejections than if you would the usual indirect daygame stuff you would learn from the oldskool methods of Mystery and Style or somewhere else on the internet. When I sometimes hear what girls hear from guys trying to pick them up during daytime I get sick with, cuz most guys are really pathetic when it comes to picking up women, especially during daytime.


Direct daygame is all about you having the self-confidence and balls that you approached directly without being a creepy needy AFC. There is a difference with being direct and being honestly direct. If you are direct in showing your desires (wanting to wank her) you are acting like an AFC. If you are being the self-confident guy who knows how to please girls and respect women you state your intentions (wanting to get to know her better as a human being /person).


I don’t think he makes this distinction clearly.

My daygame guide:

From my own experience I believe that Direct Daygame consists of: 40% inner game + 20% body language + 30% social intelligence + 10% verbal

INNER GAME:

Self confidence is most important thing during daygame: you have to not only look confident, but be confident as well!

Self-affirmations: I am the SHIT!” So it’s not: “I am shit” but it’s “I am THE shit!” Every time you think approaching a girl, let this go through your head. What I do is constantly repeat in my head ”I AM THE SHIT! – I AM THE SHIT! – I AM THE SHIT!” Also write this down hang it up somewhere in your room so you will be reminded with this on a daily basis.

Smile romantically (no dirty thoughts): Create a feeling inside of total love and butterflies in your stomach. Be in love; not with the girl you approach but with everybody in general. Love everyone. It is important to be in-state and having the right mindset. Girls can sense when you are looking at them while having dirty thoughts. This makes sure you can never look at them the wrong way.

Link your personality, kind of words you use/ language, outfit, and verbal conversational topics to one complete personality: your fashion& grooming must match your words. You have to be totally congruent with the personality you like to portray yourself.

Be romantic: Think of all Hollywood films! Never clubgame but always daygame romances. So social conditioning says that this a beautiful love story which they can their family and friends about. So what do I do with this info? I take advantage of social conditioning! Just think a bit of Don Juan and Casanova.

Become a High Status Alpha Male: Just imagine being Don Juan and think of how you would look the world…Imagine being him! Close your eyes and see yourself as the High-status Sensitive Romantic Alpha Male you always have dreamed to be end be him always, not only when you chase girls: BE HIM! You can also use other role models as JFK, Flavio Briatore, Gianni Agnelli, or whoever you see as the ultimate alpha male.

APPROACH:

Directly zoom in with your eyes before you approached and do not break eye contact

100% eye contact

Direct approach and opening

Power of honesty: be honest and sincere sounding as if you never do this and this is just a strange magical event happening to the two of you.

Pause and be Spontaneous: remember to pause from time to time so it looks like non-canned material and really spontaneously. Most of my material was originally made up spontaneous and on the spot but after having used the same lines over and over I try to still be spontaneous and make them feel I made these words for them only.

TALK:

Speak in terms of metaphors as you describe something about your own life and guess in terms of metaphors how her life looks like: be a bit general so you are always right. I advice you guys to read horoscopes (I personally think it’s crap since I don’t believe in it but girls love it); this really works like a charm! It’s an original short cold read that she hasn’t heard before. How many times have girls heard ‘The Cube’ compared to what you have told her?

DO NOT NEG!!!: Please do not NEG too much, especially with girls who have probably not experienced too much of this. I have lost lots of HB8-9s just because I became too cocky (& not funny for them) and by negging (in text, MSN or conversation). You can use it in NIGHTGAME, but for the love of God please don’t do it during daygame, especially when you want to portray yourself as the romantic Don Juan. So in short if you go negging while wanting to be Don Juan you will screw up cuz you’re incongruent!

He still doesn’t understand negging – negging works in day and night game, and should be playful.  One type of negging is the “tease neg,” which he is talking about below.  He lists it with “push pull, but doesn’t describe “push pull.”  They are different things.

Tease and Push-Pull: Do not neg, but tease her a bit when it’s situational relevant and really funny (not only for you but also for her). Do not forget to tone it down to day to day interactions and not on the nightgame level of teasing.

It’s all about how you say it: Words are not important or what you say…It is most important HOW you say it!

Always be POSITIVE: Don’t gossip and talk negatively about other people/ experiences! If the girl tends to do this in conversation. Try to reframe it in a positive way. Many leaders are awesome in doing this. I personally constantly have to think of the former CEO of Carnegie Steel Company and later founded his own steel company in the 1900s Charles M Schwab (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_M._Schwab). By being positive though not knowing a lot about producing steel, he was always positive and good in motivating people. Just try to see the good in everything and REFRAME everything positively. For example it can always be worse!  Btw, he’s not the Charles R Schwab (financial services)

Be a Girl: Don’t take this too seriously.  Be original with what you say and think of “If I were to be a girl, how would I respond to this?” It’s always a good idea to test your talk with yourself: would this attract you if you heard this as a girl.

People will not understand the above section because they are not girls and generally can’t interpret things as a girl would.

Don’t talk about sex or sex related topics! How would you respond if somebody came walking up to you and talk dirty? I have given a lot of advice regarding daygame to newbies but some guys are sometimes really hilarious: they ask girls “Would you like to <bleep> me?”,  “I think you wanna <bleep > me for 50 Euros”, “If I would make a dildo of my dick, would you like to go for a ride on it”. Do you know what is really stupid; they don’t listen to my advice and constantly come back with their same lousy questions why their daygame sucks deep and why  they get hit in the face….C’mon, do you want results or rejections???

Again, you can be sexual and use sexual tension without offering 50 euros for sex.  You can even accuse women of being really fast (sexual) escalators or treating you like a piece of meat (“I’m not just a p=slab of hot young beefcake” or  “hey my eyes are up here” a la PU101).  I tell short sexual stories.  Depends on the woman and situation.

Being direct is not about stating your desires (wanting to wank her): Direct daygame is all about being the self-confident guy who knows how to please girls and respect women you state your intentions (wanting to get to know her better as a human being /person).

Afterbite, have you read Mode 1 by Currie?

Fuck all routines you’ve learned from Mystery Method, Style or whoever that might work during nightgame but are socially awkward to ask during daygame. Okay, from time to time you can use some routines, but only when they are SITUATIONAL RELEVANT!

Depends on the routine, but some routines may be a problem.  I’ve used Ring Routine in daygame.

Use your social intelligence and intellectual knowledge every time after she has told something about herself and don’t forget it’s best to use metaphors and when giving her an answer.  Reward her because you ACTUALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to know that about her in order to get to know her better because …. BE different than all the AFC’s only by asking and thinking they made a connection by asking lots of boring questions.

Afterbite, give examples.

Remember everything & don’t forget her name: Don’t be the AFC that can only ask and ask and forget everything she has told you because you didn’t care. Make sure to pay attention to everything she tells you! How I remember a lot of the stuff girls tell me. I always try to imagine in my mind how their lives look like in a romantic way: dream of her reality (but not in an AFC way). Dream and describe in metaphors when she asks about it. The stuff she tells about herself can be used as a HOOK to maybe use it further down the conversation when the conversation dies a bit.

If you can do it, great. Use your cell to take notes after the set. put notes in her name with her cell #.  If that’s not enough…tell them you suck at names – they will say they do as well; give them a memory device for yours and ask for one for theirs.

Use your own experiences of life as possible talk topics: If you have no clue what to talk about don’t just blur out some irrelevant DHV story. If you want to tell her a DHV story, don’t use some canned DHV story you got from the internet but make an own DHV story about yourself of something you have really experienced yourself. It should not be to impress her, that’s overdoing it! You should make it a light DHV story you should describe it as the most beautiful things on the face of this planet. And also lead the conversation that makes the story SITUATIONAL RELEVANT!

When to go direct or indirect?

My direct daygame doesn’t mean I always go in direct, because sometimes I go in indirect and slowly make the conversation more direct.

STREET: Direct

MUSEUM: Indirect/ Direct

SHOPPING: Indirect/Direct

TRAIN STATION: Direct

Not sure what you mean by train station. Metro game here in DC is tough enough without going direct. If it’s a train platform, escalators,  or the train itself (as below), go indirect.

IN A TRAIN/BUS: Indirect

UNIVERSITY CAMPUS: Indirect (unless it’s at another university where I don’t study)

So you don’t get a reputation?

PARK: Direct

CLUB (nightgame): Direct

BUT it also depends on the type of girl you are approaching! Because people are unique, you cannot approach every girl with the same approach. For this I have made a rule of thumb to remember me on the basis of the type of girl when to go direct or indirect:

The higher educated and/or older she is, the more DIRECT you can be.  And the lower educated and/or the younger she is, the more INDIRECT (& FUNNY) you should be.

Direct approach:

1. Direct approach with lots of eye-contact, zoom in, make her stop and start opener

2. Comfort building: start situational relevant conversation

3. Qualification: make her qualify herself a bit to you

4. False Time Constraint: tell her you have to go back to your friends who are waiting somewhere and that we should continue conversation sometime and ask her how we can best keep in touch.

5. Possible shittest: Make clear using a metaphor that you add value to her life. Do NOT state this directly that it’s love at first sight or that she SHOULD meet you again.

Give examples.

6. Close: #-close and a few kisses on the cheeks. If connection was really good, go for the kiss-close

But now you’re thinking; how can I implement this to my own life and my daygame? First thing I recommend you is to read it again. Then sit down and think: “How can I do this?” Just go in-field and practice while having this in the back of your head!

Number Closing and Business Cards

Wednesday, December 9th, 2009

Normally, when you get a phone #, you take theirs in your phone or take theirs and dial them, so they have yours as well.  Some people may even do a card rip, where they write their number on a ripped business card (the other half has yours).  Exchanging #s is fine.

What if a girl asks for your card?  I would # close her and then give it to her, or exchange cards but write her cell # on hers since I won’t usually call girls at work.

What about when you want to get a girl’s # but she is at work and people (her boss? customers) are around…so you can’t really ask for it? Have the hired gun write the # on a napkin or receipt.

You go for a number and she says “no, give me yours.”  Then say “no, its ok…” and start doing a takeaway. she may stop you and give the #.  I wouldn’t even take an email or facebook instead of a number.  Exception: If you go for a number during speeddating and she offers you an email instead, take it since they go into SD thinking its more electronic.

So, two times in the last 2 weeks…I was gaming a hired gun where her boss or customers were with her…and i had no option but give my card.  Both times they contacted me. The norm? No, but when it’s the only option since you can’t ASK for her #, do it.  Also, I knew I was doing really well both times.  The last time…she mentioned one of my DHV stories in her email.

Who should pay for a date?

Monday, December 7th, 2009

Both male and female clients have been asking me who should pay for beginning (first, second, maybe third) dates.

The problem:

Many women will offer to split the check on a beginning date.  Some will take offense and not see you again if you don’t pay for the whole check even if they offer to pay part.  Many women are screening men (out) for cheapness. Some women insist that a man let’s her share the cost. I’ve even had women insist on paying for a first or second date.  There is no consistency.

What do I tell men?

Schedule things that are free (zoo, wander eastern market, museums. etc) or inexpensive like drinks (during a happy hour) or coffee and pay for it all.  If it goes well, you can then bounce to food, drinks, coffee, dessert etc…but by then you know you are doing fine and want more time (and bouncing helps w/comfort).  I don’t recommend starting w/dinner since you now have to pay and spend 1.5 hours with a girl you may turn out not to meet your standards one way or another.  You can also do a second date free or inexpensively (take her for a hike or cook for her in your place). Also, cheap ethnic dive restaurants work if you can sell it as the best tacos (or whatever) around.  usually by the 3rd date…many women (especially the more professional ones) will split the check with you and mean it when they offer (they’ll be more insistent).

Keep in mind that it is better to be someone who gets girls through personality and game than someone who gets girls through status/money.  A cute gold digger…is still a gold digger. 🙂  Besides, when you get as many dates as we do, it is good to keep expenses down, especially early on with a particular girl.

In a relationship, I do believe we should both contribute somehow (assuming she has the means).  Some of the younger or less professional women do expect you always to pay, but they may not have the means to contribute.

What did I tell a class full of women Thursday evening when they asked who should pay?

Female student:  “who should pay, the man or the woman?

Me: “Would it bother you if you offered to contribute something towards the 1st date and he accepted?”

Her: “Yes.”

Me: “You need to be honest in your actions.  Men get conflicting responses to this.  If you don’t want him to accept, don’t offer to contribute.  If you want to contribute, you can offer.  You can also let him pay for dinner but tell him you are taking him for dessert (or its on you next time) if you want to contribute but don’t like the “halvsies” idea. ”

I don’t like the mindset that some women have that “the person who asks the other out pays” because it is men doing the asking out.  Take turns planning and paying for dates and I’m ok with it.

Afterbite’s Direct Daygame Guide (short version)

Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009

This was on Venusian Arts’ Forum and have been in touch w/Afterbite, a Dutch PUA. I’ll comment in italics and bold throughout.

-Cuisine

Afterbite’s Direct Daygame Guide (short version)

Currently I am working on my own Direct Daygame Guide [full-version] and currently it is around 14 pages long, and soon I will probably add another 5-10 pages (as I have made loads of paper notes which I am going to work out). Since this is a public forum the below Direct Daygame Guide is just a very short version so it doesn’t reveal all my game.

What are my daygame experiences?
I have been doing daygame before I even knew that there was any theory existing about pickup ( which was just half a year ago for me). Theory about it have excessively improved my skills and results, cuz now I could learn from the experiences and knowledge of the pro’s who had books, audio programs, etc. But most of what I learned from daygame is still the result of a lot of trial-and-error (the hard way). Accept from this I am currently shifting my focus a bit more to nightgame as it is easier to get more physical during nightgame. And I also need to study from time to time as I am still a student.

*Easier, yes, but you still HAVE to kino during daygame.

My daygame guide:
From my own experience I believe that Direct Daygame consists of: 40% inner game + 20% body language + 30% social intelligence + 10% verbal

*That seems wrong.  Outer game in general is important in Direct Daygame, not just body language.  Looks and clothing make more of a difference in direct daygame than regular daygame.

Direct daygame is all about not wasting too much time when chasing girls during daytime. You will get a LOT more rejections than if you would the usual indirect daygame stuff you would learn from the oldskool methods of Mystery and Style or somewhere else on the internet. When I sometimes hear what girls hear from guys trying to pick them up during daytime I get sick with, cuz most guys are really pathetic when it comes to picking up women, especially during daytime.

*Direct Daygame will also blow out girls who you could have gotten if you had NOT went in direct, but you do better with the girls you would have gotten anyway. So, when it hooks, it often REALLY hooks.  Basically…women have small “yes, he is hot” large “maybe” and large “no” categories. Men have large “yes” and “no” but small “maybe.”  So, when you direct approach a  girl..you are forcing her to decide base don your outer game and initial approach whether you are a “yes.”  So, the girls who have you “maybe’d” blow out.  It’s powerful stuff because when it hooks, it can be intense, but as a guy who gets girls by game and not looks (I’m short, heavy, older, balding)…I tend to go direct less often. When I really DO HAVE to approach a girl..I’ll go direct and it always hooks, but I do it once or twice a year. It helps if you REALLY MEAN IT.

*Also…I generally open on an attraction trigger (humor) and open situational indirect (playful indirect base don the situation) and that works really well for me.

Direct daygame is all about you having the self-confidence and balls that you approached directly without being a creepy needy AFC. There is a difference with being direct and being honestly direct. If you are direct in showing your desires (wanting to wank her) you are acting like an AFC. If you are being the self-confident guy who knows how to please girls and respect women you state your intentions (wanting to get to know her better as a human being /person).

*Afterbite, are you opening large sets and mixed sets?  That shows balls too, even indirect.

3 Key success factors of daygame:
INNER GAME (Have balls): show your self-confidence to girls; they love it
APPROACH (Just do it): don’t start pondering about approaching the girls, just do it!
TALK (Be Natural): don’t let your game depend on canned material.

*Agreed – just approach! Canned material is fine with me if its YOUR OWN canned material (such as stories and personal routines and banter lines) or if you are a newbie.

INNER GAME:

– Self confidence is most important thing during daygame
– Self-affirmations: “I am the SHIT!” Dus niet: “I am shit” maar “I am THE shit!”
– Link your personality, kind of words you use/ language, outfit, and verbal conversational topics to one complete personality
– Think of all Hollywood films! Never clubgame but always daygame romances. So social conditioning says that this a beautiful love story which they can their family and friends about. So what do I do with this info? I take advantage of social conditioning!

APPROACH:

– Directly zoom in with your eyes before you approached and do not break eye contact
– 100% eye contact
– Direct approach and opening
– Power of honesty: be honest and sincere sounding as if you never do this and this is just a strange magical event happening to the two of you.

Yes, direct should be very sincere.

TALK:

– Never talk about sex or sex related topics
– DO NOT NEG!!!: Please do not NEG too much, especially with girls who have probably not experienced too much of this. I have lost lots of HB8-9s just because I became too cocky (& not funny for them) and by negging (in text, MSN or conversation).
– Words are not important or what you say…It is most important HOW you say it!

– Use your social intelligence and intellectual knowledge every time after she has told something about herself


*If negging is not working, you are doing in wrong.  A neg is a disqualifier, not an insult.  I use tease negs and banter and it works fine. The girl has to KNOW you are kidding when you call her a trouble maker or accuse her of trying to get you lost.   YOUR words are important (women get subtlety) as is how you say them…as is how you handle what they say.   You need to explain this better although I get it “- Use your social intelligence and intellectual knowledge every time after she has told something about herself.”

You can get them to visualize sex, making out with you, being with you in the future, etc.  It’s all in how you do it.   Subcommunication is your friend.  Also, longer sets give you time to build sexual tension and get more sexuality across.

How a typical Direct Daygame Approach looks like
1. Direct approach with lots of eye-contact, zoom in, make her stop and start opener
2. Comfort building
3. Qualification
4. Close


*Replace the Word “how” with the word “what.”

Though I have more a lot more of my own daygame guide, routines, pickup lines, etc, It’s best you guys to push yourself really hard to develop your own stuff… If I can achieve this level in just a few months, you can do this as well.

*Afterbite, how long are your sets generally?  Do you bounce girls?  Do you set up dates with them on the original sarge?  What types of venues are you doing?

*If that’s all you’re giving us, that’s all I can help you with. Thanks Afterbite. -Cuisine